Broken but not alone!

I have been, in the course of my journey through life, asked so many times; “what is a miracle?”. And my answer since April 1992 has really not changed! A miracle is an encounter with The Sovereign God that marks a transformation to one’s entire being producing an altered and improved state thereafter. An encounter that cannot be literally expressed sufficiently enough because more often than not, there is such a new and heightened relationship with the source of the miracle that words cannot adequately capture. All miracles have an outward manifestation, be it healing or just simply waking up in a new day. However what i have also learned is that the most important miracle is not the healing of broken bones or the provision of a new job but it is the healing of a broken spirit. Since 2013, when I published my first post, it has been my prayer that every post transcend just mere reading of words but actually filters through to the spirit where ultimately transformation takes place. It is usually in the midst of brokenness that the significance of a miracle is most felt.

Has my life been devoid of miracles? Definitely not, birth in itself is a miracle and no matter how much you strive to attempt and define the source of the miracle, there is just One Source that evokes the miracles that matter. Do miracles always have that earth shattering result that has become so widely associated with being a Christian  as publicised in the media? Definitely not! My own experiences have shown me that the miracles that occur with no fanfare, no thunder rumbling or multiple lightening strikes on the same spot, are those that tend to affect you more significantly. It has almost become conventionally accepted that more potential is attributed to the miracles that come with fanfare and blowing of trumpets, which I think is somewhat like missing the mark. Nonetheless when you can percieve in the stillness of the moment within your spirit the beauty of the miracles that occur every day, then the profoundness of that miracle and its associated benefits are truly yours to enjoy.

In the course of the last two weeks, I have opened up my heart to more people especially those living with some neurological disorder as I am and those who, even though are not ailing, but by virtue of being caregivers to family and friends are also part of this group. Within this group, I have seen such resilience and defiance to being constrained and made a prisoner of Parkinson’s or Dystonia, that with every encounter I consider myself truly blessed. It is in the chats and conversations with these amazing group of people that I whole-heartedly attest that I am in an arena filled with champions. Champions defined not by the physical parameters of bulging biceps or stunning physiques but defined by their refusal to give in to these disorders and their astounding sincerity of actions that can only be fuelled by true love. In all honesty, this caption was born from the utterances of an incredibly amazing man whose craving for donuts and his humorous videos make him extra special. With his permission, I want to share his words;

“If this makes any sense, there’s been an unimaginable benefit to having this disease. What are you talking about Uncle Donut? Well, I’m glad you asked, so hear it goes. If I didn’t have this disease, I would have never been exposed to a world where people who have such compassion and kindness, struggle with the simplest things. Being on the outside looking in, I would have never known that the person beside me in the store, may have just been through a Dystonia storm, or my neighbor down the street may have had Yopd (Young onset Parkinson’s Disease) and smiled while taking walks with his family. Physically I was strong and confident, but I have learned something about that. True strength is fighting everyday to keep going, even when your body says no. True strength is when you have a dystonic storm, but you get up to make cookies with your kiddos. There’s so many stories I could tell you, that I read about. I’m overwhelmed by a world of compassion where you are not judged, mocked, or belittled because of your disabilities. A world that welcomes you with open arms, and its ok to have bad days and not be criticized. I would have never experienced this, had it not been for PD. My eyes were truly opened, and I’m thankful to be part of this world. So please keep fighting, people don’t realize how beautiful and incredible you are. You may not feel this way some days, but I’m here to tell you, you are a bright light in a dark room. Much love guys.” – Keith McKoy

Reading this just allowed me re-appreciate the uniqueness of our individuality, expressed through the choices we make everyday. Even when we are broken, there is a miracle there if you can only just change your perspective and focus on the world around you. It is a miracle that defies the weakness, fragility and limitations of our human body. It is a miracle that forges a more resilient spirit, acknowledges that we were not created to be alone and taps into a Core that we never realised existed. It is a miracle that produces the strength to love someone else regardless of location, language, skin texture, size etc. It is in this brokenness that we can truly love in deed and not just words, and that is itself is a miracle. As long as we stand side by side, through the billowing and raging of the storms, through the darkness that seems unending, though the unpredictable and severe dystonic episodes, there is a miracle occurring through it all. Today, once again, I choose to give and when I have nothing more to give, I will stand/sit in silence with you because every life is special and nobody deserves to be alone in the storms of life.

עד שנפגשנו שוב, אולי התענוגות שלו להיות העונג שלך לעשות

Adios!