Fading Away…

Two days ago, my brother and friend committed the earthly remains of his wife to the ground. And it’s still a shock to me however that’s the fact, she who I asked after a week ago is no more and with a voice weary from pain and sorrow, my brother acquiesced that regardless of circumstances, we are strengthened by God. With God, there’s no limit to His Strength reserves however in times like these, I’m quickly reminded of how fleeting life is. Now, the future belongs to Ben and his little kids and moving forward isn’t an option but a choice to be made even amidst the grief and sorrow.

Being an ardent believer of faith, I cannot describe the deluge of emotions he’s going through however I can do something, and that’s be a friend and brother. We were not created to be in isolation however without a complete grasp of what our purposes are, we must trust Him who made us and keeps us grounded to things that though transient in nature they may be, yet the spiritual connotations are immense. The reality that is gradually being eroded in today’s world is that we have juxtaposed two parallel truths; we are spirit beings on a human journey and not human beings on a spiritual journey. Our destination determines and influences the choices we make because it does not require a degree in theology to acknowledge that to this life we live, there surely is an end and to every end a beginning. The question therefore is where and what are our priorities?

Having lived with dystonia myoclonus for nigh on a decade, my life’s journey has been nothing short of a roller coaster of miracles however still I press on disregarding what today’s circumstances are saying. Life is fleeting, measured in moments and therefore it is befitting that we use the temporal to secure the permanent. With each waking moment, I ask myself, “what if it is today?” and that I assure you greatly assists me in prioritizing. Be it in little gestures of kindness and compassion, a life is touched with joy and a journey continued with hope. I therefore find it rather bemusing when I see a need that has passed through lots of people but yet remain unchanged, and when it eventually grabs my attention, rather than pass it forward, I try to ensure that it doesn’t remain the same need when I received it.

What’s the wisdom in gathering what is temporal, intentionally ignoring the needs of those around us, only to leave it all for someone else – sometimes people we never knew. I’d opine that’s a question best asked and answered individually. Recently I marked a milestone in my life that many haven’t, and the amusing thing is that I wasn’t stressing myself out and so what a delight it was. A gift unexpected but really needed. To share something ongoing, we embarked on a funds drive for a school project and this necessitated soliciting for contributions. One remarkable thing I’ve learned on this dystonia journey is that life is as unpredictable as the weather. Yes, you can make forecasts but more often than not, the forecasts are not always spot on. I guess then that the unpredictability of man is something that should be no surprise to us however it really hurts when you get doors slammed in your face. It really is inconsequential whether the door was shut politely or slammed rudely, the truth is disappointment doesn’t really have a closet full of attires.

It,s just a door.

Pretty certain these responses are not strange to many, “I’m sorry, I’m currently not in a position financially to help!” but the stranger thing was I got this response from 3 people who do not know each other, live on different continents and are almost at the peak of their professional careers. Was I upset? Definitely not, because I’ve learned that we (not me anymore) earn to make a living but we give to make a life and so for me, I always choose to make a life by giving from the transient accessories of my journey, no matter how scarce they may be. Just like attending a concert, we have let ourselves become so dialed in focusing on the performance that we often forget who is just by our side. No matter how long the concert lasts, there will be a time when the end is nigh and the music fades. After that, we must move on or remain trapped by choice at the wrong location doing the wrong thing.

The most inspiring people are not those measured by society’s definition of success but rather those who have consistently used what they’ve been blessed with to bless others. As I horrifyingly witness the inevitable slide of humanity from the core values of yesteryears to something that can only be described as inhumanity, it simply expresses how easily we have forgotten who we are or who we were meant to be : to shine light in the darkness, to sow peace where strife exists, to love when we feel the least like loving; that almost summarily in one broad brush stroke describes what our lives should be.

Do I write from a place of resentment? Heck, no! There’s barely enough room on my plate to actually take the best care of myself and medically speaking, going down that route bodes nothing but ill-will for me. The beautiful thing about faith and trust is that we push ourselves to heights previously unattainable and see things from a completely different perspective. It has never been about you; casting doubts and fears away so that we are unburdened and ready to walk our path with nothing but trust in The One who made us. To many, it might seem foolish but remember the music fades at some point and beyond that, there’s little left for us to do. What we did is what will matter and woe betides the man or woman who fritters away the future for today’s pleasure, despising everyone else that doesn’t fit into your carefully selected category.

It is sheer wisdom to realize that what matters the most is not what we receive but rather what we do with what we have received and so I opine that keeping this fact in front of us will inadvertently put us on the right path. Even as I grieve alongside my brother, I am confident of this fact that He has not brought us this far just to abandon us and when it seems like I am abandoned, that is when I know that a transition is on its way and so my job is to brace myself and keep pushing ahead. “Tough times are inevitable, and this is a fact many of us don’t actively try to face. But if we recognize that we are capable of doing so, and we are prepared in our attitudes and philosophy, we can grow as people and go on to push the boundaries and experience a richer and more fulfilling life.’

Let us remember that “Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict.” – W.E Channing

עד שניפגש שוב, מי ייתן וcountenace יזרח לטובה עליך!

Adios!