Embrace who you are but be YOU!

“When I see you, I think “I wonder which face she sees when she looks into the mirror.” – C.JoyBell C.

I, undeniably, am of the school of proselytes that inexplicably concur to the notion that karma is a female dog. I truly love dogs and I am forever grateful to my parents for schooling me about responsibility when I received Scooby as my 3rd birthday present and since that day, I have never looked back. Sometimes I genuinely believe that dogs are not just man’s best friend but that one friend that stands way above the pack. I am still unsuccessful in building up my dream pack of dogs like I once had in the past but oh well, I have got tomorrow to look forward to. As is the case with everything known to man, there are the pros and cons, the good and the bad but fortunately we have that one unique feature that many of us are too petrified to use – choice.  I am looking forward to getting a new Labrador very soon, how long? I really do not know but what is the whole essence of life devoid of faith because we can only aspire for as long as we can dream. Dreams! a figment of our imagination or a myriad of events to be that the Almighty weaves into our fragile minds?

I was privileged to be at the theaters a couple of days watching “The Good Lie” and suffice to say that I was among the only three people seated in a room capable of holding over 250 people, a poor showing and attendance. I did look up the movie online and saw that it made slightly over $1m, however just like the movie, again we are faced with the dilemma of being gauged by what people think of us or accepting the reality of who we are and therefore commit to walking our own unique path. I have long come to accept that regardless of what people are faced with, the choice of what they see and go away with is theirs and theirs alone. At several times in the movie, I was faced with the startling reminder that whilst tears are an expression of our emotions, our actions thereafter are not in direct correlation with those emotions – they are a willful determined sequence of events laid out and orchestrated by us, whether it is in response to our insatiable greed or our conscience, we play them out as we deem it necessary. In my opinion, that is something that we should dare to determine and just maybe, the onslaught of decay and decadence that is overwhelming us can be slowed down and just a few more lives be saved.

Needlessly, I always remind you that I am a continuous survivor of an incurable neurological disorder known as myoclonus but it has only spurred me on to heights that I previously thought unattainable as against quenching the beautiful life and spirit God placed within me. I have read about, listened to and witnessed the tales of war child Emmanuel Jal amongst others and while his story provokes so much despondency as to the nature of man, I did spend 5 years with a mythomane and so the ground rules are almost alike. When life casts you adrift an ocean of wrecks and flotsam, an unshakable thirst is born (an incomprehensible desire for truth that is so fleeting); one is forced to pause and take bearings again because that brief pause may just save your life. Undeniably, in acquiescence to life’s abhorrence of vacuum, you will definitely have to concede some painful losses but without some form of bearing, where are you headed? because “even if a river flows with milk, a dog can take in only one lick at a time” – Tamil Proverb

Brazen faced, I remember the times just after the diagnosis was made and I was faced with the fact that this was going to be and still is one very expensive battle and as we are usually wont to so badly believe, there are some people out there who have the financial resources to make a difference in just one person’s ‘south-going’ circumstances; I sent out series of correspondences to as many as I felt would utilize their ears. The result? Complete humility and a deep birthed trust in The One who steps in when we are at the end of our rope, because what kept me going were the actions of just a few from the myriad of people I had come to know. On its own, it definitely was not an antidote to depression but I made the choice to look myself in the mirror and remind myself that I was created with just one face notwithstanding the hugely popularly misconstrued context of this quote “humans feel a need to prove they are the dominant race of a species and they inadvertently take kindness for weakness from another individual” – C.J Dorner.  I do myself this gargantuan favor each waking day, reminding myself that my actions are solely mine and so I school myself each day in the fact that I should never grow weary of well doing, because no matter how much I try to infer that the reaction will be good – it is not always the case.

Truth be told, that I have learned that we all have a certain amount of days apportioned to us and one day, with all certainty, the clock is gonna stop ticking and no matter how much regrets we feel, there is absolutely nothing we can do thereafter. What we must live with is what did we do when we had the chance? A new season has set in, and as I sat listening to the gentle words of wisdom by Pastor Ernest Zilch at his retirement service last night, I reassured myself that life is all that we choose to make of it – however the memories and consequences of our choices will always outlive us. The impact of those memories will either better a life or worsen it, for when we are done on this fragile earth, the harsh reality of how we lived our lives will stare us in our face for all eternity. As you behold yourself today, make a verbal note to that reflection – we were not created to be two faced. Let that which you behold be a source of dignity and pride to the One who made you, for in giving then we can truly receive, and choose not worthless edifices of numbered days, but choose that which you will forever be glad that you gained.

Remember “It’s great to reminisce about good memories of my past. It was enjoyable when it was today. so learning to enjoy today has two benefits: it gives me happiness right now, and it becomes a good memory later” – George Foreman

עד שנפגש שוב בזמן שלו, לא דגל לבן הוא אי פעם הולך לתלות מהמשקוף שלי

Adios!