Rubik’s cube…..

Image result for rubix cube

In the effort….

We have been created to be of a variety so unique that more often than not, in today’s world, the uniqueness of our very being has become an object of intense manipulation by very many – souring the good and celebrating the sour. We are gradually witnessing a deliberate choice by us to abdicate our position as influences and leaders to being absolutely at the bottom of the ladder; unidentifiable. The very heinous acts commonly fought for as being fundamentally ‘right’ today are those that even animals would not imagine. The bestiality of man is gradually coming to the fore and if unhindered, someday inevitably and already foretold, will be the catalyst of the end. I am coming to grips with the truth, we are all in need of saving but truth be told, that the need already has been met, the question now is what is your own choice regarding having the solution to that need.

I have considered varying options in recent times and just like I had been largely unsuccessful with Rubik’s cube in my growing days, so also have I almost be assuaged by the nigh on impossibility of the variations of life’s challenges. Today, I celebrate still (#JOIVrocks), not the champagne popping variety but the somber appreciation of positional and personal change. Funny how the mind works, when we realise that we are the ones who are responsible for the future we either desire or dream of or on the flip side, the catastrophe towards which we plunge to unchecked. Today I have, tomorrow I may not – so what wisdom is displayed if I do not utilise what I have today to make a positive difference because tomorrow is certainly not in my hands. In the light of this, I am discovering a growing trend of questioning the moral fibres on which we were raised, and my question is ‘are we dealing with symptomatic changes or its just a case of sheer boredom?’

In his thirties, a young African American had the boldness not just to dream but to believe in his dream and today we remember Martin Luther King Jr as the pioneer of the turning point for the racially marginalised African Americans. He was just an ordinary preacher, husband and father, but his belief drove him to the era of extraordinary.But it began with a dream and an overwhelming desire to share that dream with as many whilst holding unto the tenets of his faith and in defiance to the already ‘established’ structure. Now I am not saying we are all some form of MLK but we all have the same moral compass that he had, we all have the ability to dream but do we choose to acknowledge the ability to nurture that dream and make it count for something? Now I have chosen not to give in to what is generally accepted as laid down structure because I am me, and my life does count for something different. It surely does or else why am I stuck with a plethora of issues singularly but also peculiarly unique to me? The question I pose to myself each new day is how can I live better today even if I must leave today. Do I see my exit as a foreboding ominous gloom that I must at all costs scurry away from or do I accept that inevitability and go about altering that which I can…..remember Rubik’s cube has one outcome, just as our very lives do too.

Am I grateful for what I have or do I still mourn the loss of what I had as against looking forward to the new things awaiting me? I am truly grateful for what I have now, a new day to make some change, initiate a new chapter, shake off the regrets of yesterday’s mistakes and move on with eyes focused. Do I bestir myself from the lethargy of yesterday’s disappointments and still cling unto hope? Do I toss aside the challenges I will face because of the inherent difficulties or do I reach in and give it yet another shot? It is all about what you and I choose to do! If and when we leave, are the results going to veer towards the positive or get swallowed by the murkiness of negativity? Embedded in the lyrics of Alvin Slaughter’s song is the consistent appeal to acknowledge what we have got and yet not be so enamoured with it that we choose not to allow God use it, He placed it there in the first place. is it true that every loss births a gain and every disappointment but a disguised blessing? I would say I choose to strive to find that gain and blessing because that is what my life journey has taught me. Like two sides of a finely sliced bread, we must pick a side to lather the butter (smearing both sides is just outright messy and reveals something more to who you are) or spend the entire day vacillating between ‘to do’ or ‘not to do’ until you are overcome by the pangs of hunger and life makes the decision for you.

I have in the last three years, had doors opened up to me and then slammed in my face but I have also found myself on the right side of the slammed door – be it with me being on the outside or inside. I get to move on still, and despite the hurt of anticipation turned sour, I know that there is still something that I can do with that life situation. Least of all is that I also own my own door and who I let in or leave out is a sum function of the knowledge acquired and lessons learned (still ongoing). It ain’t over until God says its over but till then I put aside the mistakes, hurts, disappointments of yesterday and deal with what I have got today. My dad’s favorite cliche is ‘no man is an island’ but to that I dare add that who you align yourself with goes a long way in determining whether you eventually end up as an island, all isolated and alone. Regardless of how daunting life’s tasks are (nobody owes me a thing, but thanks to those who choose to support me), I choose to diligently apply myself to it and hopefully someday when I do leave, the state of my Rubik’s cube will inspire others to hope and believe more than they ever taught possible.

Remember ” Keep your face always towards the sunshine, and shadows will fall behind you” – Walt Whitman

החיים שלנו הם מתנות מאלוהים , מה שאנחנו בוחרים לעשות עם זה הוא אובהערכה או זלזול גמור של מתנה ש….. עד שנפגש שוב , ייתכןשהשמש מאירה את הדרך שלך.


Reflections from the Mirror…..


Embrace who you are but be YOU!

“When I see you, I think “I wonder which face she sees when she looks into the mirror.” – C.JoyBell C.

I, undeniably, am of the school of proselytes that inexplicably concur to the notion that karma is a female dog. I truly love dogs and I am forever grateful to my parents for schooling me about responsibility when I received Scooby as my 3rd birthday present and since that day, I have never looked back. Sometimes I genuinely believe that dogs are not just man’s best friend but that one friend that stands way above the pack. I am still unsuccessful in building up my dream pack of dogs like I once had in the past but oh well, I have got tomorrow to look forward to. As is the case with everything known to man, there are the pros and cons, the good and the bad but fortunately we have that one unique feature that many of us are too petrified to use – choice.  I am looking forward to getting a new Labrador very soon, how long? I really do not know but what is the whole essence of life devoid of faith because we can only aspire for as long as we can dream. Dreams! a figment of our imagination or a myriad of events to be that the Almighty weaves into our fragile minds?

I was privileged to be at the theaters a couple of days watching “The Good Lie” and suffice to say that I was among the only three people seated in a room capable of holding over 250 people, a poor showing and attendance. I did look up the movie online and saw that it made slightly over $1m, however just like the movie, again we are faced with the dilemma of being gauged by what people think of us or accepting the reality of who we are and therefore commit to walking our own unique path. I have long come to accept that regardless of what people are faced with, the choice of what they see and go away with is theirs and theirs alone. At several times in the movie, I was faced with the startling reminder that whilst tears are an expression of our emotions, our actions thereafter are not in direct correlation with those emotions – they are a willful determined sequence of events laid out and orchestrated by us, whether it is in response to our insatiable greed or our conscience, we play them out as we deem it necessary. In my opinion, that is something that we should dare to determine and just maybe, the onslaught of decay and decadence that is overwhelming us can be slowed down and just a few more lives be saved.

Needlessly, I always remind you that I am a continuous survivor of an incurable neurological disorder known as myoclonus but it has only spurred me on to heights that I previously thought unattainable as against quenching the beautiful life and spirit God placed within me. I have read about, listened to and witnessed the tales of war child Emmanuel Jal amongst others and while his story provokes so much despondency as to the nature of man, I did spend 5 years with a mythomane and so the ground rules are almost alike. When life casts you adrift an ocean of wrecks and flotsam, an unshakable thirst is born (an incomprehensible desire for truth that is so fleeting); one is forced to pause and take bearings again because that brief pause may just save your life. Undeniably, in acquiescence to life’s abhorrence of vacuum, you will definitely have to concede some painful losses but without some form of bearing, where are you headed? because “even if a river flows with milk, a dog can take in only one lick at a time” – Tamil Proverb

Brazen faced, I remember the times just after the diagnosis was made and I was faced with the fact that this was going to be and still is one very expensive battle and as we are usually wont to so badly believe, there are some people out there who have the financial resources to make a difference in just one person’s ‘south-going’ circumstances; I sent out series of correspondences to as many as I felt would utilize their ears. The result? Complete humility and a deep birthed trust in The One who steps in when we are at the end of our rope, because what kept me going were the actions of just a few from the myriad of people I had come to know. On its own, it definitely was not an antidote to depression but I made the choice to look myself in the mirror and remind myself that I was created with just one face notwithstanding the hugely popularly misconstrued context of this quote “humans feel a need to prove they are the dominant race of a species and they inadvertently take kindness for weakness from another individual” – C.J Dorner.  I do myself this gargantuan favor each waking day, reminding myself that my actions are solely mine and so I school myself each day in the fact that I should never grow weary of well doing, because no matter how much I try to infer that the reaction will be good – it is not always the case.

Truth be told, that I have learned that we all have a certain amount of days apportioned to us and one day, with all certainty, the clock is gonna stop ticking and no matter how much regrets we feel, there is absolutely nothing we can do thereafter. What we must live with is what did we do when we had the chance? A new season has set in, and as I sat listening to the gentle words of wisdom by Pastor Ernest Zilch at his retirement service last night, I reassured myself that life is all that we choose to make of it – however the memories and consequences of our choices will always outlive us. The impact of those memories will either better a life or worsen it, for when we are done on this fragile earth, the harsh reality of how we lived our lives will stare us in our face for all eternity. As you behold yourself today, make a verbal note to that reflection – we were not created to be two faced. Let that which you behold be a source of dignity and pride to the One who made you, for in giving then we can truly receive, and choose not worthless edifices of numbered days, but choose that which you will forever be glad that you gained.

Remember “It’s great to reminisce about good memories of my past. It was enjoyable when it was today. so learning to enjoy today has two benefits: it gives me happiness right now, and it becomes a good memory later” – George Foreman

עד שנפגש שוב בזמן שלו, לא דגל לבן הוא אי פעם הולך לתלות מהמשקוף שלי