Category Archives: From the heart

…in the valley again

Standard

Image result for in the valley of desolation

Its eerily silent, with the evening breeze not so much caressing as biting my skin. My bones feel heavy, each joint creaking as I try to rise to my feet. Its almost like de ja vu as I look around and see nobody, save for the bones of the fallen at my feet. Like a sailor aboard a ship in the middle of a fierce storm, my legs feel all rubbery but still I must rise otherwise I might very well lay down and cradle the bones strewn around. And bones do not make for comfort.

I can hear the voices of people above and around me, seemingly oblivious and my voice grows hoarse as I call out for help, however the response is the echo that comes back to me. It is weird because this is like the reeling scenes of a movie once seen before. The callouses on my palm are a sore reminder of the last time I clawed my way to the top and although they are all but scars but still the memory of the climb is still nestled somewhere at the back of my mind.

The twinge along my spine is not of fear because that has been conquered long ago, it is just a painful reminder of the limitations of this vessel. The medication alleviates it but still like relentless waves of an angry sea, it bashes again and again with an almost uncanny determination to knock me down and keep me down – I object to that and acknowledge that even in the silence, I sense strength and hope for me.

Like the bucking rider on the bull, I am reminded that there are just but two players in the arena and regardless of whether there are silent or rowdy spectators, that does not change the fact. I have called out and He hath sent me help and this time will not be any different. This is not my first rodeo even as I yet again gather my garments around me and stumble to the the sheer walls surrounding the valley. Hoarse voice, calloused hands, aching body….still I know this is not my destination.

My head slumps just as another bout of pain hits me, and I see my own hands in the twilight – these are the only hands that will always help me up and rightfully attached they are to my own arms. I will not succumb! I did not and I still will not because there is more than just me to think about. No white flag will ever be hoisted above me in surrender because I am more than a conqueror and needless to say whether the circumstamces acquiesce to that or not, that is my choice.

I am not just going to be another set of bleached bones because this vessel holds dreams and aspirations and to them I will see, though time hastens by but with each footstep I take, I know that this battle has already been worn. The silence of those around me do not make me despair rather they drive me on, and as long as I’ve got a voice, it will be heard. I will not spend any energy in raising clenched fists in anger and disappointment, I need the strength to make my way up because as always when I crest the top, the beauty is a sight to behold and with heads bowed in shame, they will make way for me.

The climb must begin once again because this is not my destination, I know where I am headed and companions in due season will arise and play their role but for now I must do it all by myself and with the inexhaustible reserves of strength He avails me. Battered, bruised and bewildered but still I journey along. The stones feel very cold to the touch as my fingers search out the tiny holds to enable me pull myself up. This is not an exercise in futility because climbing takes me upwards and there I must be. A beacon of hope to those who have fallen down into their own valleys, an inspiration to the few amidst the many who have never been down, a message to all that life is not fair but the choices we make determine who we become – caregiver, friend or just another set of willing hands.

From my lips, emanate praise to The One who makes it all come together for me, for He was, still is and forever will be. Inch by inch, I pull myself up – the grazes matter but nought to me. This is my climb out of this valley and my place will never be with the bones…

מאי להאירובנעימות עליך עד שנפגש שוב .
Adios!

Flintlock, stone and barrel…

Standard

Image result for flintlock pistol

“The world has the habit of making room for the man whose words and actions show that he knows where he is going.” ~ Napoleon Hill

Geez! This has me reeling from so many emotions however I presume its the inevitable result of not doing something in a long while and it kind of reminds me of the phrase “Bless me Father, for I have sinned. My last confession was over 6 months ago….”. Now this is less a confession but more of a sharing of my experiences and utilizing the experiences garnered during various encounters to first of all hoist myself up (just incase I have slipped down little bit) and then at least one other person who really needs this.

Its more like beginning another phase as I write this post because it truly is the end of one phase, prelude to the beginning of another. Am I truly grateful and blessed for this concluding phase? A definite and resounding yes, because I have been given the priviledge of meeting varying individuals for varying amounts of time and simply just trying to learn more than I know and when possible, letting another person know what makes me stand out. Am I completely free of Myoclonus? No however I still stand by my choice and bullishness not to give in to some disorder as I make each day on this personal journey count for something. Medical conditions are just that – they are conditions and not the manual for your life or who you want to be.

I spent a couple of days in San Diego, California and there I was opportuned to actually get to see and hold a flintlock and sure it was part of a priced collection owned by an artist whose ancestor was one of those real men back in the days. Days where boys grew to become men and lived as men, confronting life and its challenges head on without flinching. Men who understood instinctively what terms like family, parenthood, moral virtues stood for. Men who aged gracefully even as the threads of their lives unravelled as will ours as we approach our destination. So much has taken place that have been so significant that it drives home the fact that not only are we living in the last days of this world but that every little gesture made from a sincere compassionate heart reverbrates thoughtfulness, kindness and compassion…..these are virtues that are rapidly becoming extinct even as we all whole-heartedly apply ourselves to making a living as against just living life and learning.

One remarkable thing about the flintlock is how powerful a little spark can be, and when applied at the right time, the results were astounding (pretty sure whoever stood at the other end of the barrel back in its days will so emphatically concur). Now, one statement I read has stuck in my memory and even though it was used in the context of driving but I do say that it applies to life in itself……‘be a pebble in a rapidly flowing stream’….and that I dare say is not too difficult to imagine. We are all created equal but we definitely do not end up as equals and the difference is  in the choices we each have made and get to make each and every day. Do we choose to live in the past (allowing the experiences of the past so cloyingly overwhelm us that we limit ourselves) or do we learn from the past so as to create our own future because that is what our hands and hearts are for.

Undeniably, the flintlock is the past but it played its vital role in the world we live in today and even though it is more relic than relevant but the point is that it played its role. I have come across individuals who are yet to determine who they are, least of all applying themselves and my question usually is ‘how many versions of you actually exist (updated or obsolete)?’ And this question usually goes to drive home my bewilderment in how some just choose to do nothing with their lives. In our own little worlds, we can at least be the stone that strikes the flint. We can choose today to resist the clamour and popular option of being nobody in today’s world or put aside all vestiges of complacency and just do something. Fail if you must because in failing, at least you have learnt one way not to do what you just attempted. There is no better art than attempt because opportunities of all kinds assail us everyday and whilst we refuse to do a thing, the opportunity passes and most times, we unfortunately do not get to see it again.

No better person than Thomas Edison in recent history could have put it better; “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” Take a shot or a swing at life, and if you miss, try it again because life in itself is a journey that we all must undertake and we are going to be remembered for our indifference or for our efforts. I honestly do not keep count of the things I regret not doing but I do look forward to keeping a consistent effort in making my life something I would be proud of in retrospect. Notwithstanding the limitations of this frail body, there is more in life that we can by just doing something (and I do want to emphasise – do something that is right). Regardless of how numbered our days, we each have something to bring to the table but first of all we must find it lest we have nothing to give. There is much joy in giving freely anyway….

There will definitely be storms (that’s one characteristic of life) but those storms help shape us especially when we realise that our own strength is puny by itself, and His strength is there just for the asking. As the water flows past the pebble, and weathering occurs – realise that no matter how smooth that pebble becomes, it is still capable of igniting a fire when used properly. Take a look around you and see that hurting person close by, and realise that nothing happens by chance. You are where you are for a reason, understand the reason and do something at that moment in time and place. Empathy is not a synonym for weakness but it is an attribute of humanity. Let us not give into the craziness that is so rapidly engulfing us but be a light in the darkness….in two words; BE DIFFERENT!

Remember “There is no failure except in no longer trying.” ~ Elbert Hubbard. May the sunlight illuminate your paths and fair winds greet your sail because you are never alone.

עד שנפגשנו שוב, אולי התענוגות שלו להיות העונג שלך לעשות!

Adios!

Shattered existence….

Standard
 Inline image 1
…Shattered Image.
 

“Do not be weary in well doing, for you will reap in due season………..if you faint not” – Galatians 6:9 (God’s Manual)

Phew! Happy new year!! It is the start of yet another wonderful year – 2016, it just rolls off the tongue and its so exciting that it is a leap year, makes it all the more special I dare say. Having my beautiful daughter explain the concept of a leap year is something that every parent would cherish because in those moments therein lies irrepressible and undaunting hope, and an embodiment of a greater tomorrow. When something occurs just once in four years, what are the odds that it will not be special. So I say it is a special and while I also acknowledge that it also represents time gone, my next task is evaluating and reviewing the time spent with the objective of improving on the good and discarding the bad. Resolutions? No! More like goals to me and being as regular as I can blogging, with improvement (one of the most obvious goals). There is also the goal to being a better me that I was last year, now that encompasses a huge lot….
 
I did not get to do anything since my last post in November (my unreserved apologies about that) because it was and will always be filled with lots of activities each persistently varying for my full attention and I am not the best at multi-tasking but I try to apportion and appropriate the limited resource that time is. Nothing has further drawn me closer to the fleeting and brittle nature of our existence with the births and deaths that closed last year. Now I unashamedly admit that regardless of how far a relationship you share with someone, a loss is painful and grief is not a sign of weakness. I have shared the pains with those who lost and celebrated the joys with those who were blessed, and either way, life does have its ups and downs. Fitting in requires something of a balancing skill if you want to have more than just a weak shot at living. I was sharing portions of my life story with a young friend and I told her that certain events occur in your live that reveal more of your humanity. Weeping is not exclusively for the weak, in actuality, it is a revelation and display of both empathy,compassion and our humanity.
 
I remember, not very vividly, the first time I beheld a mirror of my own back in the days ( it was kind of a luxury/’self centered’ icon) and taking out time to check out the acne, your own facial features (yep it was a handheld small one not the full length…) – funny now in retrospect but back then it was quite a task. Ensuring every hair strand is in place, the smile rehearsals for occasions that may come up, and even the different game faces, was it not a lot back then. And then like every other thing, it just happened, one day haste got the better of me and it slipped from my grip and hit the ground. Shards of glass all over the place…geez! being incensed does not quite capture my emotions, who I was incensed at did not even matter because it was all about the mirror. Getting the largest sliver, after hopelessly trying to childishly put it back together like a puzzle, I realized that the largest shard would have to suffice because trying to get a reflection from a put together cracked mirror is almost as frustrating as trying to leap into a moving plane (I am no Tom Cruise and even he had the necessary gear etc).
 
Attempting to put that shattered mirror together comes with some pain, glass is sharp (scars unequivocally attest to that) but in reality some things cannot be fixed. You did not make it in the first place even though you broke it, so move on. I have long ceased trying to fix others especially when it dawned on me decades ago (April 27, 1992 to be precise) that I so desperately needed fixing myself, but I choose to use that aspect of me that can encourage others to get a glimpse of themselves and realize that it is not as hopeless as it seems. Now having seen more than my fair share of medical experts and heard their droning, believe me when I say nothing is as hopeless as it seems even when you are the one responsible for the mess. Making the choice to be nice even when all the laws of science demand the alternative is not as easy as it is being written, said or read, you simply cannot do that all by yourself – you will drain yourself of your life energy. And so, I choose this year to continue to be nice even when I can not explain the reason to the next person. I choose to aspire to encourage even on the very bad days, and there have been quite a deluge of those days in recent times. The resonating joy is that I am doing things that I could not dare imagine some years ago. so for me, it is still a day – good or bad.
Looking back, like I tend to do, reminds me of how much time we spend expending so much negative emotions at everyone else and everything but ourselves that we fail to realize that regardless of how bad a situation may be, something can be salvaged from it. Without delving into my battle with Myoclonus, I have come almost a full 180 degrees based on the ongoing challenges I face and the ones I have overcome and still are. Joiv repeatedly tells me how unsettling it is the way I currently respond to situations, the usual reaction that was my trademark is slowly but evidently loosing its influence and I am not even aware. What I do know is that there is more to be gained treating others not just the way I want to be treated but maybe even better than I would (if that is possible). Does the truth have to be told? Oh most definitely, honesty is fundamental – the vehicle that conveys that truth is what you certainly have to make a choice on. Malleability was one of my best words in high school because of the definition and having it as a trait (from the human perspective) is also nice, being able to adapt to change without being too rigid or too amorphous goes a long way in living life easier. Pertinent to note is that whether we like it or not, change is indeed the only permanent thing in life. Word play is an art, and is best utilized by the greatest minds.
 
In the last few weeks – the closing of last year and the beginning of this year, I have seen more of the idiosyncrasies of individuals up, close and personal and it does not drive me as oddly (up the wall fast) as it used to because it is so much easier to live when you appreciate that people are simply a result of the choices they have and are still making, throw in handful of the experiences they have been through and how much they allowed themselves to be torn up or thrust up, accompany that with the lifestyle they presently choose and you have yourself a meal, oops a package/profile of that individual. Now, admittedly,  it has not been very palatable but it just helps in being able to process very fast and still choose to be nice without loosing your cool and reverting back to that inherent vicious brute that is somewhere hidden inside. For me; up, close and personal is certainly not the best of options for me (no thanks to myoclonus) but I have also seen that you are forced to make instant decisions on whether being a Christian is a garment that can easily be tossed aside when the gloves come off or that it is a lifestyle that inevitably calls for some sacrifices that are so difficult to make. Closed quarters just like adversity brings out the real you.
 
Our lives are more than a reflection of our physical semblance in a mirror, they are the instruments for living out a tale that will motivate others to move up to higher and more stable grounds…or not! We are all on this journey called life and no matter how reclusive you are, you will always encounter someone else and the moments you spend with that person might be all you may ever have, so what deters us from making those moments count. I have been bitter, resentful, unforgiving etc and so I can recognize them when I see them but I choose to learn from my own playbook (God’s manual) and not get into the trenches with those negative emotions because that right there is a leap backwards, a plunge into mucky waters…when we ought instead to be moving forwards and heading upwards. That is actually where the best is! Learn from the mistakes of history so that we do not repeat them, the history has been done however the future is still to be. We choose either to dwell continually in the past or make today count towards a better tomorrow, however the resource called time is not ours to fiddle with.
 
I have stopped trying to see a reflection of myself from the put together pieces of a broken mirror because it is just futility to the letter, instead focusing more on what I have learned from past reflection, I am moving on with as much spring as my knees and back can take, my cane is quite handy too. With a jaunty whistle to the tune in my heart, I move on because it is not so much as the reward that awaits me in due season, it is also about not growing weary and fainting – now therein lies the question that only me/you can answer. Where does my/your strength lie? And my response is still unchanged, my eyes are lifted up to the hills where His inexhaustible reserves of strength lies awaiting. For this new year, where do you choose to draw strength from because we both assuredly know that we cannot do it all by ourselves by any means. The harder we try, the less we have of ourselves to give but give we must so there had better be something good to give otherwise we will be so minimized; with all the negative emotions already overwhelming society, that our lives will count for nothing and to me that is the most pitiable thing that can ever happen to an individual.
 
Remember that there is just one of you amongst the billions in the world, make that count by aspiring to be the best you can be, there really is no competition save for walking in accordance with the purpose of Your Creator. Let go of striving to see ourselves in the warped reflection of broken mirrors, adjudging yourself by the expectations of people and just be YOU! Even when you think you have failed, get back up and begin again, you are in no competition with another you. My prayers are that this year will not just be the best year we have lived but that we will each plug into the life cord that flows from God and together live such a life that the world would be saddened to see us go.
 
מאי להאירובנעימות עליך עד שנפגש שוב .
Adios!

Luxury of sleep……

Standard

“You may not control all of the events that happen to you but you can decide not to be reduced by them” – Maya Angelou

This is not going to be just another one of them, this is indeed a blank page that can be filled with words that mean nothing or something however the call to choose is one that cannot be tossed aside in a spate of emotional outburst. I’m surrounded by a kaleidoscope of lights and noise even at this hour and it goes without saying, that sleep is a luxury meant to be enjoyed by the deserving. Control is absolutely nothing without power, I believe that used to be one of Pirelli tyres advert lines but I have less than an hour before I must cease writing and tackle face on the challenges of the brand new day, so I need to gather my thoughts from the swirling bowl of my mind before it is too late.

i was in Cuba a couple of weeks ago and the terrain, among other things, was breath taking – it was one of those moments where you realise that this should have been on your bucket list but notwithstanding its absence, you just enjoy the moment and be glad that you did. It has been a journey and sooner than we know it, it’s going to be time to usher in a new year and possibly evaluate our achievements. How well I have fared is a question that may best be answered by me however I do not possibly know all the answers but I do know that I have been the major player and regardless of how much control I had over the events of my life, the outcome reflects the consequences of choices made and whether they can be construed as successes or failures. After these events, am I reduced or built up?

My dear friend just informed me that she was relocating on account of a new job, and as we strove to catch up on happenings in our lives, she mentioned something that struck me – God brings us to a place for a reason and disperses us for a reason, how He disperses us is best left to Him because even if were given the privilege of being made to understand…..we never will and so we roll with the punches, mourn with those who mourn, rejoice with those who celebrate and generally just move on. This is a journey that began someday and will definitely end someday, having the same set of people at both times is nigh on impossible because with every change, there are new people in our lives. How we leave them is something that we can influence and so whether we are remembered or not, the fact is that we had the opportunity of meeting new people – we get to incorporate them as we write our story, and so parting can either be sweet or sour – the choice is ours to make.

Not everyone will relish our company, but will that deter us from being creatures with purpose? Besides being your own super hero or super villain, nobody else possesses the unique set of skills that you have and so yet again, hero or villain? The choice is ours however I have learned that you can be several things to most people but to yourself, you can only be you – that you owe yourself and so even as you traipse all around your world, you are either without clear cut goals or you have recognised what your goals are and are striving to work towards achieving them. This is one event that you definitely have or don’t have control over, what your preference is will be made manifest in your journey. It’s an abstract world we live in and sometimes we are like the raging bull in the china store while other times we are the demure maid in the house on the hills, regardless of the circumstance, we must play our role as close to perfection as possible.

Someday the curtain will drop and all that we used to know will cease to exist, our very lives will be laid out like a scroll and we will be evaluated not based on the influences that availed us but on how well we utilised them. Did we succeed in making our lives worthwhile or we just barged through life without a care or thought for the other person? That in itself is quite irksome for me because it is more than just a roll of the dice, it is an evaluation of how closely I worked with regards to the plans of Him whose works I strive to do each day. As the day unfolds before my eyes and I watch people scurry around with time being the universal criteria, I ask myself this – are the decisions I’m making aligning with the purpose of my existence? Hopefully, the answer is a resounding affirmation from My Maker…..nonetheless I do what I have to because I want to and pray that somewhere, someday a life will be inspired to do more than just the limits that we so blindly set for ourselves.

In all reality, what are the limits? What are our boundaries? That, dear friend, is best left for each one of us to answer. My desire is that when all this is done, I will truly enjoy the luxury of a well deserved sleep as I pray you do too.

Adios!

About depths and heights….

Standard
Undestanding height through depth!

There’s a big picture!

“To reach a great height, a person needs to have great depth” – Unknown

A couple of days ago, I wept! I failed a test that I had so long being preparing for, and it wasn’t just that I failed the test but I felt like I had failed myself after the unrelenting battle with myoclonus  (I’m still standing). Felt I had failed my very own because of the sacrifices we had made just to get to this stage, financial sacrifices, emotional sacrifices, the list seemed unending….but above all, it was a sore reminder that failure is an inevitable aspect of life. Needless to say, when you focus so much on the hurt and agony of hearing those words “I’m sorry, you failed!”, you fail to recognize that just like everything else, there’s a choice to be made. Pick yourself back up, more determined and more resolute or wallow in self pity and the dearth of hope that usually accompanies such situations.

Well, thanks to life’s experiences and the priceless support of JOIV, I chose the former – analysed my mistakes, went back the very next day and aced the very same test. It was a humbling reminder that even though at times, I feel like Superman considering where I’ve come from, I’m still human and it is clearly stated within the handbook that it’s neither strength nor swiftness that wins a race but the whom you choose to focus on. When the nerves flutter, and the winds buffet, when the clouds hang gloomy overhead; the question is who do you focus on because I can yet again say that we are most definitely limited in our output. It’s really not about just you, it’s about comprehending that there is a big picture. Height and depth are simply locations and both have lessons to be learned, whether we acknowledge those lessons and realize that our life is not just ours to do as we will, the outcome of our lives can be almost certain.

I have learned that failing strips me of the air of invincibility that I sometimes occasionally fall into, it pushes me to realign myself with my purpose and if I can’t get my purpose then what really is my worth. We each get drawn into the fallacy that success is only about winning but I beg to differ because you can only appreciate heights when you’ve appreciated depths. The best lessons are often learned during adverse times, accepting those lessons are our choice to make. The times we grope around in the valley are usually not that different from the times we luxuriate at the heights of the mountains, it’s the lessons and their application that are different.

The fact that I had bolstered and encouraged many to succeed whilst I had failed was further driven home by the loneliness I experienced. There will be times when it’s just you and you alone, you just have to work through the pain and draw the strength that’s so readily available when we are at our weakest. The challenge is that more often than not, we allow ourselves to succumb to the pressure of allowing ourselves be defined by the wrong standards. When we were made, the mould was broken and that says in no little way that God believes we each are His masterpiece – how we embrace that fact goes a long way in determining how we make it through life. I chose again to remind myself that my life is worth more than failing a test, it is also an opportunity to learn what mistakes I should not make going forward because the journey is forward going not standing still in a puddle of tears. What does not kill you only makes you stronger! Am I focusing on being nearly slain or I’m focusing on the new reserves of strength that’s being availed to me?

All around us are people who are facing their own unique experiences, are we going to become weary of well doing just because of a minor setback? My answer is no; because you can only receive when you have created space by giving and for as long as you give, you will never run out. Life events might infer the contrary but the truth is that givers never lack, wisdom and knowledge is meant to be shared not hoarded. Today, I am paces ahead because of that failure and I’m emboldened to strive ahead each new day, good or bad, high or low – this is a journey and the finish line has been predetermined, completing my journey or not is mine to decide. I’ve got all the help I need because my life is purpose driven and I’m fully equipped by The One who delights in my living. I choose not to dwell on just one aspect of life because there is definitely more than one aspect. Regardless of how thin a slice of bread is, it’s still got two sides.

We are all created to attain great heights but in order for us to do that, we must have great depth or else ours will be an incomplete mix with more than a pinch of woe and misery. In order to become champions, we must learn from the defeats we sometimes suffer. Today, I am reminded that I am more than a conqueror through Christ Jesus, all the hard work is done and so when I fail, it’s a reminder that my success is already predetermined but I must learn and move on with the lessons. There is so much to life than just prejudiced definitions, make your own definitions and move along with your own convictions – you are being an asset to more than just yourself, which I think is the very essence of not being an island unto ourselves.

As we take each day as it comes, let us remember that the choices we make are not just going to impact ourselves…..when we do remember that, then we will experience the pleasures of both the heights and the depths. At every location, there are lives around us that we can bless, let’s not grow weary but continue in doing good works because it is better to wear out than rust away.

עשוי לעמוד בפני ברקו בנעימות עליך עד שנפגש שוב!

Adios!

Second chances, One change…..

Standard
Make that chance count!

 Make it count!

Separation is almost as applicable to man as is the desire for the achievement of set goals and dreams. When a man (or woman) is stripped bare of the fineries of material riches and geographical comfort, our response or reaction usually marks the distinguishing factor between individuals. I’ve had friends break away from glitz, glamour and fame just to go into isolation and rehab because the clarity of realisation suddenly dawns on them that there’s so much more to life than what today’s world offers. Am I inferring reclusion as being the best way of life? That I certainly am not doing….however I acknowledge that most times, change is preceded by separation or else how would you achieve any change by remaining in just that one spot?

I was recently faced with a friend’s dilemma (and when I say friend, I mean that he’s not just kicking cancer’s butt, but he is also one of the nicest and most modest people I’ve been blessed to meet). It was actually one of those ‘moments’ for me, when he told me that he’d been diagnosed with cancer, and yet you could see that he was committed to making every moment count each time we interacted.  It’s funny but the best perspectives are usually gotten from people who have had their fair share of life throwing both the kitchen sink and the entire plumbing at them. Now it’s more meaningful to me why he was so beat up when I recall our last conversation. He’s an instructor and as is the norm today, a basic requirement for any career/job/internship is the inevitable drug test. What was his dilemma? He just lost a couple of his bright student trainees because they failed their drug test/urine-analysis and he was so beat up about it because he felt that these people were trying to turn their life around and for some reason, the system would not let them.

Now that right there is the beauty of association, it offers a different perspective because when I heard the news, I took the well trodden path that people should assume responsibility for the consequences of their actions (more of harsh truth, less of tenderness…oops!). I opined that it is common knowledge that you must pass a drug test prior to being accepted as a new employee or as an intern, and just incase my opinion is skewed….it is always clearly stated in bold print usually that one of the first requirements is that you are subjected to and must pass a drug test. It’s done everywhere; sports, blue and white-collar jobs, even in jail and so more often than not, you have the opportunity to discontinue what wrong habit you have been indulging in (separate yourself) because chances for change do not come everyday. I feel bad hearing such news and it’s closer to heart when I am somewhat involved with such persons. Why is it so difficult for people to admit to themselves the truth that they’ve made mistakes or are still making them but are man enough to be willing to face the consequences? From experience, the consequences (when there’s an admission, realisation and repentance) are a little more than a smack on the back of their hand because not only is forgiveness divine but there’s a love so profound that when we do acknowledge and give in to it, we luxuriate in the truth that He’s borne it all just for you.

The startling truth is that, more often than not, we reject the most profound of loves and the best of relationships and naively or ‘wisely’ choose the ever-present short cuts in life and convince ourselves into believing that we can get to a destination on our own terms without breaking a sweat. Nope! Life is one hard task master; so experience has taught me that the short cuts in life are usually still under construction and so in our bid to be smart, we find ourselves stuck all by ourselves surrounded by others like us amidst tons of debris, completely unable to make it to the other end. (And I kid you not when I say that’s definitely not a venue for making worthwhile relationships, heck!you cannot stay calm or be at your best whilst you’re being smothered and sucked under debris). Is life unfair? It sure has to be in order to accommodate everyone, the difference is our response to our perceived unfairness of life. Separation is indeed a hard choice to make, sometimes we don’t even get to claim the bragging rights, because it’s just what it is at that moment of intervention. In hindsight however, separation precedes change. We have all been given second chances, some are on their ninth chance but irrespective of it being your second or ninth, it’s still another chance and could very well be the last.

The trifling issue is if we are ready to make that change, then the harsh losses associated with separation is something that we must be ready to put up with. The pains arising from withdrawal symptoms, the discomfort of the transformation, the loneliness et al are things we must be prepared to face. I remember the words of my swimming instructor during my late teenage years when I had barely two weeks to learn swimming and prepare for a comprehensive certification exam; a prerequisite for working in the oil sector…”keep your eyes focussed on the prize (in this scenario, it was the end of a 50m pool) and as long as you see that wall, I know you’ll ace the test”. Needless to say, I did both of us proud by passing my certification exam in swimming and today, swimming still remains one hobby that is no longer just a means to an end but it’s become many things; therapy, an avenue to meditate and a place to clear my head.

Now, unfortunately for many of us, we convince ourselves that we can beat these tests of life – I’ve heard quite a few ‘intelligent’ comments –

‘buy a bottle of detox (I don’t even still know what that is) and drink it at least 48 hours prior, then you will be fine!’ (#geniusforfree)

‘get someone to pee for you, so you can swap the containers cos your employers don’t really care how you pass’

‘turn up your charm knob to the maximum, and talk your way through it, they’ll remember your personality and not care about your performance!’

I can go on and on but in all reality, there’s usually always one casualty and that’s you. When we realise that it’s in our nature to err, we must always realise also that for us to be better, we must separate ourselves from that recurring error (elementary mathematics!). Admission always precedes repentance! If we don’t, the change that you so desperately crave will be gone before you even realise it, and not only does it ruin your chance for change but it gets put on your personal records (personal yet public) – still grappling with what I just said? I leave it to your imagination to paint the domino effect you’ve just set in play that will irretrievably affect your future. Regardless of the errors we made in the past, remember that there will be an opportunity to right that wrong and therefore we must be prepared to recognise the chance when it comes and make that change we so desperately need.

‘He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep, just to gain that which he cannot lose’ – Jim Elliot. We are all created for a purpose, the passion needed to fulfil that purpose is inherent in us but first we must pass through the ordeal of separation so as to emerge tried, tested and proven. As we face our fears, let us confront them with faith that despite the glaringly difficult and thorny road that stares us in the face, there are roses too, but run we must because the moment we stop running with God who alone can strengthen you, then we feel the thorns prickling us on all sides. God never promised us smooth sailing, but He did promise that He’d be with us through it all and guess what….we will see clearly when the rain is gone. Our lives depend so greatly on how much of our good (status, riches, comfort..) we are willing to sacrifice for the best that we deserve, and even though we be besieged on all sides be it in the form of dystonia or cancer or addictions or the relentless pressure from the world to be someone else, we must keep our eyes open and make that chance count.

The chance to be nice, the chance to be less self-centred and more selfless, the chance to be a shoulder for another, the chance to rewrite our story and give another hope just from reading it, the chance to surmount our physical limitations and soar on wings as eagles, the chance to give and not always take, the chance to empathise and share another’s burden, the chance to love even if we’re not loved back, the chance to just sow some good in the lives we meet, the chance to be a friend to some stranger and/or be rebuffed but still not give up on other strangers, the chance to spread a message of love, hope and faith….because not only do we actually become better people when we take these chances but we also reach out and touch someone who is going through tough times and give them a reason to forge ahead. We can make it if we really want, but we must try – allow The Perfect One all the room He needs so He can take the wheel of our lives and steer us right. That should be our story, long told after we are gone, that he fought the good fight and now there’s an example to follow.

Remember, keep your eyes focussed on Christ cos He’s the author and finisher of our faith. Strap yourselves in, we’ve got some smooth sailing ahead and even when the storm hits as it will certainly do, pick yourself up because someday you’ll hear these words……’Land ahoy!’

פרידה עד שנפגשנו שוב בתזמון שלו, וייתכן שאהבתו של אלוהים להיות אמיתית לך!

Adios!

Leaving Footprints…….

Standard
leaving footprints

Footprints…

‘You must stick to your convictions, but be ready to abandon your assumptions’ – Denis Waitley. What are your convictions?

Phew! It has indeed been a long period of re-evaluation,reminiscing, re-education etc Every new day should truly be treated as though it may be your last because, hey! it could be. Over the last 4 weeks at The Wood, we have been looking at the subject of ‘What kind of footprints are you leaving behind?’ and I remember experiencing my first snowfall (ironically I stayed up all night because the forecast was for sometime in the wee hours of the morning), sneaking out of the house in my new pair of snow boots and just taking a walk in the snow – funny that right now, I for one could do with some snow. Oh my, the excitement of seeing the footprints I left behind; and it strikes me how funny it is that regardless of enthusiasm or the passion to learn something new, we are all leaving footprints behind. Life in itself is a journey that we all must must make.

One story strikes a chord within me – the story tells of a man who felt he had gotten the short end of the straw, and as the days went past, he had become a constant fixture at the local tavern in his misconceived notion of drowning out the woes of life. Ignoring his family, he would make a beeline for the tavern from the coal mine and most times, he never recollected how he made it home. Many who had tried to intervene felt it was a thankless task and so he usually was left alone. Until one ordinary evening in winter as he made his usual trip to the tavern, he heard some noise behind him and needless to say that curiosity got the better of him. Turning around, he saw his young son all bundled up in his little winter clothing, with head bent and face all screwed up in concentration, walking towards him – each tiny stride in the deep snow made with such an effort that he could not help but call out to his son. On hearing his father call out his name, the little boy lifted up his head and stretched out on his tiny face was this huge beam of excitement, accomplishment and satisfaction. “Daddy, see me! I am following in your footprints”….. With tears coursing down his bearded face, the father wordlessly reached out and lifted the little boy into his arms and that was the very last time he was seen at the tavern or with liquor.

Even as I write, I know that this story resonates within you. Many of us unwittingly choose to forget what we have in the face of life’s harsh lessons, huge mistake!  Sometimes we get so carried away with our ‘problems’ that we fail to realize that we are headed in a particular direction and even if we are so consumed by the situation or present circumstances, one thing is inevitable – our destination and direction is always marked by our footprints. We may have become so overwhelmed by the circumstances we are in, that curiosity does not even get the better of us anymore and so we fail to realize and acknowledge that someone could very well be following in our footprints. I recall learning the importance of leaving good footprints in the sands of time as a freshman in high school, and through weekly recitals at the very least, the words of that beautiful poem (A Psalm of Life by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow) are ingrained in my heart (specifically the 7th verse)….

‘Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
 And, departing, leave behind us
 Footprints on the sands of time’

Does this memory alone stand out so much that it has become a barrier that cannot be breached by the mistakes and errors that we are oft to make? The answer is a definite No! Over the years, it has lost the status of just being a recital of words for me but has gradually metamorphosed into a conviction. The knowledge, acceptance and constant meditation on the fact that my identity has become ensconced in the Identity and Will of a Loving Creator has evoked the transformation of those long learned words into a living part of who I am today. Do the limitations of my earthly body, frail in itself change the truth that I am also leaving footprints? Do the unrelenting battles with a rare medical condition deprive me of my footprints? In all earnestness, my footprints are even more obvious and distinct with my staff.

As each day, newly birthed, is presented to me – I make the choice that regardless of whether I have a million followers or none at all, I choose to leave behind footprints that lead to a destination where hope, love, joy, grace and peace abound. The going has definitely had its share of hard knocks and will still experience some more but the choices I make today have their consequences in my tomorrow, so like any blessed person (we all are, even if we do not acknowledge them), I have realigned priorities and trudge on strengthened by the hope that someone after me will have a less wearying journey. That is all there is to life – what have you done for that person whom you may never meet to make their own journey better? Are we all wrapped up in the self delusion that life is all about what I can get from it? The very fact that you are where you are today is a result of someone else’s sacrifices – your parents, teachers, friends (of-course the good ones) and what an awful shame it will be that we spurn these sacrifices in a foolish attempt to assuage our own selfish needs.

My father always repeats these words ‘no man is an island‘, and putting that phrase in conjunction with the undeniable fact that there is just one of you in the entire universe with a unique gift, talent, skill – just maybe then we are able to catch a glimpse of the big picture. We all have been created for a purpose, and that purpose will always intersect with some other person’s and how shameful it will be when and if our spot at that very significant moment is glaringly absent and empty. Today, we can do something! Disregard how insignificant it might seem to you, I can wholeheartedly assure you that it is very significant to someone else. Or have you been repeatedly kicked down and are on the verge of ‘doing no more for nobody’? Or you might already have made that selfish decision, just remember that you are where you are because Some-One loved you so much that He willingly gave His all for you, in addition to the countless unknown and un-celebrated individuals whose footprints you have followed.

Get out of that rut (even if it has become very comfortable), self constructed or not, and do something that today and even in hindsight will be truly beneficial to someone else. You can begin leaving good footprints today, it is never too late to begin again. And whilst you are at it, remember “Love sought is good but given unsought is better!” – William Shakespeare

ייתכןשהרוחות תמיד תהיה לטובתך עד שנפגשנו שוב!

Adios!

Rubik’s cube…..

Standard
Image result for rubix cube

In the effort….

We have been created to be of a variety so unique that more often than not, in today’s world, the uniqueness of our very being has become an object of intense manipulation by very many – souring the good and celebrating the sour. We are gradually witnessing a deliberate choice by us to abdicate our position as influences and leaders to being absolutely at the bottom of the ladder; unidentifiable. The very heinous acts commonly fought for as being fundamentally ‘right’ today are those that even animals would not imagine. The bestiality of man is gradually coming to the fore and if unhindered, someday inevitably and already foretold, will be the catalyst of the end. I am coming to grips with the truth, we are all in need of saving but truth be told, that the need already has been met, the question now is what is your own choice regarding having the solution to that need.

I have considered varying options in recent times and just like I had been largely unsuccessful with Rubik’s cube in my growing days, so also have I almost be assuaged by the nigh on impossibility of the variations of life’s challenges. Today, I celebrate still (#JOIVrocks), not the champagne popping variety but the somber appreciation of positional and personal change. Funny how the mind works, when we realise that we are the ones who are responsible for the future we either desire or dream of or on the flip side, the catastrophe towards which we plunge to unchecked. Today I have, tomorrow I may not – so what wisdom is displayed if I do not utilise what I have today to make a positive difference because tomorrow is certainly not in my hands. In the light of this, I am discovering a growing trend of questioning the moral fibres on which we were raised, and my question is ‘are we dealing with symptomatic changes or its just a case of sheer boredom?’

In his thirties, a young African American had the boldness not just to dream but to believe in his dream and today we remember Martin Luther King Jr as the pioneer of the turning point for the racially marginalised African Americans. He was just an ordinary preacher, husband and father, but his belief drove him to the era of extraordinary.But it began with a dream and an overwhelming desire to share that dream with as many whilst holding unto the tenets of his faith and in defiance to the already ‘established’ structure. Now I am not saying we are all some form of MLK but we all have the same moral compass that he had, we all have the ability to dream but do we choose to acknowledge the ability to nurture that dream and make it count for something? Now I have chosen not to give in to what is generally accepted as laid down structure because I am me, and my life does count for something different. It surely does or else why am I stuck with a plethora of issues singularly but also peculiarly unique to me? The question I pose to myself each new day is how can I live better today even if I must leave today. Do I see my exit as a foreboding ominous gloom that I must at all costs scurry away from or do I accept that inevitability and go about altering that which I can…..remember Rubik’s cube has one outcome, just as our very lives do too.

Am I grateful for what I have or do I still mourn the loss of what I had as against looking forward to the new things awaiting me? I am truly grateful for what I have now, a new day to make some change, initiate a new chapter, shake off the regrets of yesterday’s mistakes and move on with eyes focused. Do I bestir myself from the lethargy of yesterday’s disappointments and still cling unto hope? Do I toss aside the challenges I will face because of the inherent difficulties or do I reach in and give it yet another shot? It is all about what you and I choose to do! If and when we leave, are the results going to veer towards the positive or get swallowed by the murkiness of negativity? Embedded in the lyrics of Alvin Slaughter’s song is the consistent appeal to acknowledge what we have got and yet not be so enamoured with it that we choose not to allow God use it, He placed it there in the first place. is it true that every loss births a gain and every disappointment but a disguised blessing? I would say I choose to strive to find that gain and blessing because that is what my life journey has taught me. Like two sides of a finely sliced bread, we must pick a side to lather the butter (smearing both sides is just outright messy and reveals something more to who you are) or spend the entire day vacillating between ‘to do’ or ‘not to do’ until you are overcome by the pangs of hunger and life makes the decision for you.

I have in the last three years, had doors opened up to me and then slammed in my face but I have also found myself on the right side of the slammed door – be it with me being on the outside or inside. I get to move on still, and despite the hurt of anticipation turned sour, I know that there is still something that I can do with that life situation. Least of all is that I also own my own door and who I let in or leave out is a sum function of the knowledge acquired and lessons learned (still ongoing). It ain’t over until God says its over but till then I put aside the mistakes, hurts, disappointments of yesterday and deal with what I have got today. My dad’s favorite cliche is ‘no man is an island’ but to that I dare add that who you align yourself with goes a long way in determining whether you eventually end up as an island, all isolated and alone. Regardless of how daunting life’s tasks are (nobody owes me a thing, but thanks to those who choose to support me), I choose to diligently apply myself to it and hopefully someday when I do leave, the state of my Rubik’s cube will inspire others to hope and believe more than they ever taught possible.

Remember ” Keep your face always towards the sunshine, and shadows will fall behind you” – Walt Whitman

החיים שלנו הם מתנות מאלוהים , מה שאנחנו בוחרים לעשות עם זה הוא אובהערכה או זלזול גמור של מתנה ש….. עד שנפגש שוב , ייתכןשהשמש מאירה את הדרך שלך.

Adios!

The puzzle of simplicity….

Standard
Puzzle and simplicity

Puzzle & Simplicity!

Ever had this feeling that you have so much bottled up inside you that it felt like the slightest nudge would definitely cause you to metamorphose into a fully functional but uncontrolled fire hydrant? It has become so lame whenever these words are uttered ‘life is unfair’ that sometimes we fail to acknowledge the wealth of wisdom hidden behind those three words. I certainly know how unfair life can be but I also know that there is a world of difference between the perception of the unfair times and the choices we feel compelled to make during those times.

The last few weeks have been very revealing, for the lack of a more suitable term, and like every moment we experience as we journey through life, it also adds more zing to my individual and very unique story. Who we are at the end of our journey is a thoroughly mixed blend of all the various moments, lessons and experiences we encountered in the course of our lives – that is why we are as diverse as the word means. It is such an awesome but completely humbling experience when we are privileged to catch but a glimpse of life and its mysteries; “ Better a poor but wise youth than an old but foolish king who no longer knows how to heed a warning” – Jedidiah. To some of us, that which we so assiduously pursue with every waking breath, is as meaningless as the chaff that is blown off wheat, to another. So the question is if the same fate awaits each and every one of us, how do we apply our waking moments to ensure that we are not just a very vague memory in the lives of those that we were privileged to encounter?

Tomorrow, my best friend celebrates the beginning of another new year and for me, that transitional phase holds so much potential because it is an opportunity to review our past and appropriately align our paths towards where we are headed. I have cause to celebrate too, because just being honored to share in and witness the beginning of another phase of someone very special is also a reminder that I too have had and will also have beginnings and what better privilege it is when we are given a heads start or a leg boost upwards. And whilst I rejoice and celebrate my best friend, I also realize that the choices I make will definitely influence my own beginnings as the different seasons of my own life come up, so that is mixed feelings right there – what do I choose? Dwell on the negatives or bask in the triumphs of the past or take a chestful of invigorating fresh air and gear myself to march onward.

I recall quite vividly one of the lessons I learned as a youngster during our family devotions, it was a story from the pages of ‘Just A Moment Please’ – A.J Maurus. A father saddled with meeting the dictates of his job also had for that day, the responsibility of attending to the unceasing needs of his little son (baby-sitting). Finding his son’s incessant demand for attention a little distracting, he thought of the best way to keep his little son occupied for a long stretch of time so as to enable him focus more on the task at hand. Quickly reaching a supposedly foolproof solution, he took out a page from that morning’s newspaper with the world map boldly captured on the page that his son had been playing with, ripped it into tiny bits and asked the little son to play an impromptu game of puzzle by trying to put the world map together. Excitedly both father and son turned their attention to their individual tasks, the father believing that the puzzle would keep his son preoccupied for the greater part of the time.

In less than an hour, the little boy shrieked out delightedly to his father that he had completed the puzzle. As expected, the father was stunned that his son who could barely understand the word ‘continent’ least of all the study of cartography and geology had completed the puzzle in so short a time. Believing that it was just a characteristic case of short attention span, he walked into the little boy’s room and amazingly beheld the world map correctly put together. Seemingly at a loss for words, he asked his son how he had so quickly figured the puzzle correctly. With a twinkle in his little blue eyes and that look reserved for ‘disappointingly slow’ parents, he walked up to the put-together map and turned it around, behold there was a picture of a man on the reverse side. In his little bubbly voice, he explained “When I put the man together, the world came together!”

Decades have passed and still I recall that simple lesson: when and if we can put the man (ourselves) together, then the world will simultaneously come together. Pretty simple but undeniably very puzzling especially when you take into cognizance the idiosyncrasies and unique but different values that make us who we are. Today, that lesson still rings true and whilst many of us choose to focus on the unfairness of life, the simpler task would be to get our individual acts together and then watch in astonishment as the world or our immediate environment comes together. It is so much easier to hurl blames at other people for our unfair circumstances, but truth be told, while it is so more difficult to set on the single task of putting ourself together, when and if we do, the results would be beyond what we could ever imagine. “The art of simplicity is a puzzle of complexity” – Douglas Horton

Recalling the discussion I had with one of my business associates, Johann – I was completely blown away when he said that his objective in successfully starting up his Real Estate Investment firm was not to become a millionaire. Modesty in play? Definitely not! Experience has taught me to recognize sincerity when I hear it, besides I also know him a teeny weeny bit.  It has become (and always was) a hugely growing norm now for people to leap onto the band wagon of someone else’s opinion, tear it apart, poke holes and do as much destruction as they can think up. Once that urge has been satisfied, a complete turn around is done where that opinion carries the day (success) and when failure results, then a search for the next wagon to jump on begins. It requires less work putting the puzzle together when and only if we realize that we are very much a part of that next person’s story, each of us is the man behind the map of someone else’s life and if we devote just a little portion of our time in putting our lives together as opposed to destroying “another’s life/opinion/stance”, imagine how many puzzles we would have succeeded in completing and how much good work little old you would have done.

I, for one, choose to be different and while my end is yet afar off, I opt to work more on getting my own act together. There is a purpose to every life, discovering it is a good start. Remember, the quality of whatever we aspire for or dream of can only be made manifest in the quality of what we give others. We are, because someone gave and regardless of how despondent the circumstances are demanding of you – you still get to choose. Make it count!

עד שנפגש שוב , אני נפרדתי ממךלשלוםוטוב ביותר שאתה לבד ראוי .

Adios!

Hoping; truth and Realism……..

Standard
hope

Hope unconquerable.

Phew! Without so much of a fuss on the part of anyone, we are already in the third month of the year 2015. Surprisingly the number 3, across several divides and discourse, has some bit of symbolism to it and for me, it is many things – Divine sovereignty, my birth month, my position in the order of siblings, and for a while it was my favorite number. Why? I just loved it or better put, I chose to love it however that would be the subject of another write up hopefully. Borrowing the thoughts of Vera Nazarian; “Love is made up of three unconditional properties in equal measure:
1. Acceptance
2. Understanding
3. Appreciation
Remove any one of the three and the triangle falls apart. Which, by the way, is something highly inadvisable. Think about it — do you really want to live in a world of only two dimensions? So, for the love of a triangle, please keep love whole.” 

It has been over 40 days since I put thoughts to word, my sincere apologies to those I have left hanging. The stark truth is we are each made to complement one another and how dreadful it would be if I did not hope and believe that someone somewhere was taking the time to read my thoughts. To you, I say a gracious thank you and pray that your aspirations would dwarf your immediate limitations, if any exist because I speak from the perspective of one who has seen his immediate limitations grow in leaps and bounds. In admitting that, does that deprive me of hope or rob me of the knowledge of truth? Definitely not, I know that I have been created for the long haul and properly equipped at such and perchance when those dark days loom, I also have realized that the resources from which I draw on daily are not and can never be measured by man. I have had everything taken away from me, not by choice in whatever dimension, but I stand today, so much better than I have ever been.

A couple of Sundays ago, I was blessed to be ministered to by the One World Children’s Choir and even as I looked upon the huge smiles and the pure love emanating from their actions – something dark and sinister struggled to shake me off my perch. With a surge of emotions, I recalled how easy it is to feel alone and hopeless but I quickly reminded myself with the truth that there can be no life without hope. How else can anyone begin to explain the chain of events that have uniquely characterized our individual paths through life? What are the indices that reveal the superiority of your life when compared to the next face beside you? As each of the kids went through the routines, obviously practiced but yet seemingly original, I realized that the life we live can and will only be evaluated by the choices we make.

Unknowingly, there is a growing curiosity about the difference between truth and fact. Some school of thought say that truth is subjective while fact is not, others disagree on the grounds that they mean the same thing. I could go on and on however I just want to share my thoughts especially for one who has witnessed both extremes in almost every aspect of life. I opine that both are different – each differentiated by its reference base. For me, truth is simply truth; it is what the Sovereign God says and be you from the North pole or the South pole, there is no higher authority than God. For me, the test is what can you appropriately compare truth with. What people referred to as facts centuries ago have either been slightly amended or completely thrashed however I choose to rely on truth as the only virtue that has the inherent potential and capacity of completely liberating you. Is the truth real? Yes it is. Is it tangible? Now that is bound to be contextual…..

I was privileged to celebrate a new year a couple of days ago, and amidst the outpouring of well wishes, prayers, gifts etc I reminded myself that I could never have made it this far without hope in the truth despite the reality of the situation. it is that hope that births the dreams and aspirations that guide me through the turbulent waters of life. And just like the blinking light atop the light tower, I am guided inexorably by what I have chosen to accept and believe. Regardless of the incessantly changing tides of life, this truth stands out – I am who God says I am and whether I choose to believe it or not, the propensity for hurt is overwhelmingly stacked on the latter. We are blessed, whether we believe it or not yet again, for the sole purpose of blessing others and how ironic would it be for anybody to say that there is nothing each day to be thankful for. This truth trounces every religion and thought process. The follow up question then would be, if we admit that there is something to be thankful for each day then why can we not share that gratitude with someone else. Give and take, Yin and Yang, Life and Death – to everything there is a beginning and an end, an action and reaction, a positive and negative…..

Without us beginning, there would be no end, and then throw in a little high school physics and we might just get stuck in the inevitability of never being able to garner all knowledge. What we do with the little that we have or are given is what determines whether the subject of hope is a reality in itself. We can choose to make our lives as real as possible by giving hope to someone else, because we are, simply because someone gave. We receive only because someone gave. Now I have since acknowledged that riches are not synonymous with happiness, real contentment and joy can only be achieved when we fulfill. Fulfill what? Fulfill that for which you were made, I tell myself every moment that for goodness, kindness etc, it is better late than never. To forgive is divine, but it is humanly to err. To begin again always seems more difficult but do a 360 degree evaluation and you will agree that there must always be a start. For me, each new day is an opportunity to be the hope that someone else so desperately craves and for as long as there is breath in this fragile body, I choose to believe that “When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” – Paulo Coelho

I must begin with myself each new day and whether twilight catches me still unfinished, I know that tomorrow will begin with me being better than where I was yesterday.

Remember, the quality of whatever we aspire for or dream of can only be made manifest in the quality of what we give others. We are, because someone gave and regardless of how despondent the circumstances are demanding of you – you still get to choose. Make it count!

עד שנפגש שוב , אני נפרדתי ממךלשלוםוטוב ביותר שאתה לבד ראוי .

Adios!