Tag Archives: Time

Gratitude?……Yes!

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Undeniably it’s been rather tumultuous times recently however sometimes the joys we seek is not a thing but a process; the process of letting go because it is when we let go that we are able to see.

Today makes it 8 years, I encountered an amazing individual; funny, charming, intelligent and creative. He’s become one of the reasons to encourage me to keep going on even when the storms are at their worst. When the little glimmer of the skies are completely eclipsed by the darkness of the storm, he can still make me laugh and realize that there’s more joy in the process regardless of what’s going on. His childlike faith and compassion is worth learning from.

Gratitude

I don’t know what you’re going through however I do know that pulling the plug is not something that is an option because a thief is one who takes something that isn’t theirs without getting permission to. I don’t think ‘it’s better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission..’applies here. Somethings are sacrosanct; our lives are gifts from The Creator and the only way we express our gratitude to Him is by the way we live our lives so rest assured suicide is not an option. I promise you! There is no adroit weaving of words that can justify not being intentional in our lives or choosing to end it.

I like shoes, one of the few things that I can still like….it’s a choice too; to like or not to like. Yesterday presented me with another option to grab that lungful of air that will keep me alive whilst I’m submerged by life’s unpredictable waves. And yet again I must apologize for not being faithful doing this, I am still flawed and imperfect in more ways than I would want to know. There’s a generational transition currently taking place and it is inevitable because life must go on and in order for that continuity to occur, there has to be that anguish that’s associated with losing a parent or parents (whichever does apply to you). In that anguish, some of the best things are learned! I promise you that as a parent, it is so much better to be buried by a child than to bury a child.

In times of war, parents bury their kids however in times of peace, children bury their parents. Let that simmer in for just a tad; we all crave some peace whether it be publicly or privately. Having veered off, I’m redirecting. With more than one, comes the need for choice and sometimes choosing can be a pain, that for me is one reason I don’t like shopping or eating alone. Yesterday I met Dwayne as I made my way to the neurologist for a sleep deprived EEG and I realized that I have been lacking in my expression of gratitude. A fellow ex-trucker, he made the few minutes we spent together, nostalgic and yet humorous because while I vacillate between what shoes to wear (and usually seek help), he doesn’t have to because he’s an amputee so now I thank God for both my feet and then my shoes.

I’m grateful that I am able to see a doctor because I can appreciate what he and his team do for me. The years of preparation, just for lil ‘ole me. I’m grateful for my medication because it gives me some respite from this horrendous journey as well as the opportunity to say thank you to the pharmacist who spent all those years and money studying to become one, just to help me. I’m grateful for the time in the valley because at least I have a tent and can extend a hand to those who are homeless. I’m grateful that I’ve never been homeless because sleeping in a car is better than sleeping under a bridge.

Hospitality

Honestly, I said this was going to be brief however now there’s so much to be grateful for and so I’m grateful for you, sacrificing the time to read this. It is tough however it’s easier to act like an entitled (I just don’t like that word but oh well…) buffoon than pause and take stock of what you have and don’t have. Vulnerability demands that we be true to ourselves in order to trust the process and also be thankful for the process. I wasn’t singularly close to my mother however it’s been 3 years since she passed and I still miss her so much. 5 days ago would have been my parents 50th wedding anniversary; my mom’s up in heaven and my dad is battling dementia however I’m thankful for all their sacrifices because we might not have made Forbes list but they instilled in me, self confidence and much more than can be bought with money.

I’m not grateful for dystonia however I choose to be thankful on the journey because I have encountered and built a home filled with remarkable individuals. The storm rages on however I’m grateful because I know someday it’s going to end and what an expectation and hope that’s being built with each new day. I choose gratitude every day, whether it be in letting go of something or someone or in being hospitable to a stranger because I know therein lies yet another opportunity to touch a life with no condition attached and no guarantee of reciprocity.

And so I dare you to choose gratitude, and let’s see where the cards fall.

עד שניפגש שוב, יהי רצון שהפנים שלו יזרחו בטובך!

Adieu!

Friend or foe (Pt 2)….

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2hrs 23mins left and once that resets to zero, the year 2021 becomes the past and there is absolutely nothing we can do about the events of the year except learn from the mistakes we made. 2022 begins; a fresh new parchment and I definitely know that it comes with its fair share of highs and low so why procrastinate completing this post? I learned this year that procrastination is the thief of opportunity and I definitely am not letting any theft take place whilst I yet watch. Not on my watch because in my world that would be an ending without a completion, something that those with OCD will spend the first hours of the new year trying to grapple with.

Friend or Foe?

There is definitely a lot to pen down, but with the end comes a beginning and so I will attempt to keep this as brusque as is civil. I happened to come across a social media post from one of the new friends I made in 2021 and why it stuck was the simplicity of the of the post. He graduated from high school, the same as I attended and he asked for people to comment and state the year of graduation so as to enable him know who were his ‘seniors’ and those who were his ‘juniors’. A pretty unusual request however, what made it quite fascinating was that he graduated the same year that I was born and so you can understand the incredulity of even trying to comment because where do you start from. I was not even conceived when he got into high school but I did something different – I commented and said much more as is typical with me when I come across extraordinary events.

He was the last of 5 friends I made in 2021 and of-course the scales are off-center because I know I made much more foes than 5 and that is not in anyway due to me embarking on a ‘get as many foes as you can’ mission. It reminds me of a question that someone posted on Quora and his question was why do banks accept deposits within minutes but it takes the same institution at least 3 days to refund money? Having some banking experience, it brought a chuckle to my lips because that summarily is what life is about – life is unfair and if you have not encountered the unfairness of life then I would suggest that you probably stop reading and go watch the fireworks going off in celebration of the new year. It is almost like asking why do some people choose to be foolish because I do know that God freely gives wisdom, they are just comfortable in the ignorance that they knowingly flaunt around with every given opportunity and I most wholeheartedly assure you that I speak with some experience on that subject.

Lest I get bothered and thrown off course by the amazing ability of people to choose folly over wisdom on a recurring basis, I must also acknowledge that we need them, not as jesters in our courts but as foes because there must always be some sort of balance in life. The more the merrier, remember that God is sovereign and if He is preparing a banquet for me then I know it is not anything small. I am truly thankful for the foes because it helps keep the hope of restoration and abundance alive, what would a banquet be without self-styled unhappy people so there is truly no need to go recruiting foes, they will show up regardless of what you do so just continue to be a better version of yourself and grace them with the complement of ignorance. Haters will always hate however, friends are rare and therefore much more worthy of my actions because friends make you better, they pull you up when you fall and they evoke the desire to make life more relevant which should be a priority for anyone who has a modicum of understanding regarding our journey through life, for therein lies fulfilment.

Despite my laptop vehemently struggling to be a foe, I owe myself the time honored responsibility of making my life count for something and so onwards I must continue, not just for myself but also for those lives that are inexplicably connected to mine. Tweak what you can whilst you can because 2hrs can be applied to doing something nice and impactful to others, and when that runs out, you can either choose to remain in the past or move on with an unflinching stare, confident that the future is now the present and what treats it has in store for us. I want to give a give a special shout-out to friends that were bold enough to tell me ‘No’ because the ‘No’ unknown to them were answers to prayers and I know that God promises what is best for me. With that, I want to thank you all for being part of my life and I conclude this with a prayer that we truly understand that there can be no happy new year without God being first place.

Remember that in everything we do, He must be glorified and that is how I choose to end 2021 and begin 2022, with a steely resolve to make everything I do, glorifying to Him. That is my resolution for the new year along with a prayer that in times of weakness, His grace and strength will be made manifest. I know that 2022 will yet reveal just a glimpse (because of the frailty of our mind) of His Kindness and faithfulness, and so together let us usher in another awesome year, better that any year we have lived.

שנלמד משגיאות העבר כשאנו מביטים קדימה לפאר העתיד!

Adieu!