If Wisdom dwells….


Pearls and Wisdom

What is that factor that drives you, confining every other feeling to the shadows? What is it that motivates you to persevere especially when it seems life has yet again chucked a basket of lemons at you? What is it that seems to soothe the painful process of journeying through life especially if you are handicapped in some way? What is it that silences the ticking of the clock as time inevitably passes by? What is it that makes you want to rise up each day, uncertain of what the day holds for you, and yet without a pause, you plunge headlong into another new day? For every person, there is that unique purpose that relentlessly drives you on despite what emotional turbulence awaits you. And there are those who are still unwittingly searching for that thing that like the missing piece in a jigsaw puzzle, when slotted in, the beauty of the entire picture is suddenly clear.

A couple of hours ago, my daughter asked when would I really take a break from working because with her pure soul, she is still concerned about how I feel on a regular basis. And it is in moments like that I am eternally grateful that I do not have the final say with regards to the affairs of my life. When the regrets of past mistakes tend to shroud you like a wet cloak, if we can but shrug off the cloak and swat away the lingering cobwebs, it is only then that we can truly see the triumphs and victories that the regrets of the past so desperately want to block out. It is in times like these that I appreciate the sincerity of true friendship because “Good friends are like angels. You don’t have to see them to know they are there for you” – Moywaywa. I am truly grateful for those that I can call friends because though they be few in number, their concerted efforts have collectively propped me up when I thought my  gas tank was completely dry.

It is truly absurd that today’s world with its frenetic pace has so intruded into our personal lives that it seems that we are compelled to do things based not on individual choices. Where fame is measured by the number of views on social media, and parents are more interested in what is currently trending than in the imparting of core values to their kids. It is in times like this that I know that being different is not always necessarily a good thing but the courage to be different speaks volumes about your identity. If we could but capture life in a still shot and intensely study that one shot, then the thousand words would mean so much more than the seeemingly inevitable hustle and bustle of existing, which in retrospect is just like equating progress in a a journey while sitting in a rocking chair.

As I journey through life, one day at a time, there are always ‘those’ encounters that I know will never be forgotten simply by the impact it made in my life. I recently swapped experiences with a high school buddy whose journey into medicine has evolved into an awareness that life is not measured by material indices, knowledge or trend setting. Amazingly, his passion is conflicting with the traditional practice of being a general practitioner of medicine because he knows that what hurts the most is usually not going to be fixed by a band aid and a signed prescription sheet. What hurts the most is that there is much noise all around and so little being heard, and he has set out forging his own path at tackling the needs of those around him including lil ole’ me. Wisdom can be sought and gotten, the capacity of applying it appropriately however is a completely different issue but first there has to be the desire to seek wisdom. And from him, I am further motivated that with the end of life not in sight, hope silently awaits.

Are you a wanna-be trend setter or you have gotten fed up with the way things currently look? If the answer to the latter is in the affirmative then you can do something about it but it has to be your way. Little acts of kindness and sacrifice go ways longer than you imagined, and even if the appreciation is not forthcoming, persist in well doing because there will be that one person whose life you have unknowingly given a burst of hope. I have been on both ends of the spectrum and when the walls seem to be caving in on me, I remind myself to breathe because as long as there is breath in this body then I can delight myself in being a source of hope to another person. The future is not as bleak as it looks, and even when all else seems to be resonating at the same frequency of abject helplessness, remember you are a vessel of change. But you have to act if you intend to change the situation. The change you bring about when you act is not measured by magnitude, but by the intent to do right.

Show me a man who seeks wisdom in order to apply it and you have unerringly shown me a hero. Wisdom is not measured by years or some other human index, it is measured by the life you live and the impact you bring to bear on those around you……..if only you listen. Like the toddler playing on the beach with his little wagon, shovel and bucket, give him some time and room and you will be astounded by what he is able to build with sand just by using his imagination. I am not in a race for accolades or fame however I acknowledge that I am in a race to fulfill the purpose of my existence. And if I give in to the doldrums around me and allow myself to be distracted by the confabulation of wagon riders, then I would have lived my life in utter misery.

Remember that indifference is akin to sitting astride a fence under the delusion of being comfortable. If a need can be identified either through ominous silence or a flurry of words, I whole heartedly assure you that you and I can do something about that need. “I, Wisdom, live together with good judgement. I know where to discover knowledge and discernment.” – Proverbs 8:12 (NLT)

פרידה עד שנפגשנו שוב בתזמון שלו, וייתכן שאהבתו של אלוהים להיות אמיתית לך!


….bathing in the rain!


Image result for bathing in the rain

It is exactly 12 years to this day that I unilaterally took a leave of absence from my cozy job with one of the globally recognised brands in the banking/financial industry to sign up at the orientation/boot camp for the Direct Short Service Corp into the Navy. To many, it would have come across as an act bordering on the vestiges of insanity but for me, I had become completely fed up with the monotony of the regular 9 – 5 and just needed something more adventurous. Being put through the paces was no exercise for the faint-hearted especially after the daily wailing of the bugle interrupted whatever respite I was trying to have. Nonetheless, this was what I wanted.

Today, I have no regrets because from that decision, my life took on so many twists and turns that being in a maze would not be too much of a stretch for the mind. Five years after that decision, my neurological system opted to become autonomous and I plunged headfirst into an unfamiliar world of neuroscience, neurologists, dystonia, myoclonus, sciatica, insomnia. Pain, both external and internal, became constant companions and suddenly my to-do list which included setting up funds for my daughter up to university levels suddenly became just a scrap note. Struggling to understand what and how I had started occupying a niche in the opposite extreme from the fiercely independent, highly analytical and logical fellow to becoming someone who pride meant little or nothing to as I struggled with the simplest of tasks like getting out of bed. It seemed as though there were myoclonus triggers hidden behind every simple chore

I can still recall how unreal it sounded (returning from my weekly visit to the chiropractor) as I boarded a crowded Bus 379 from Ilford to Dagenham, when the driver (bless her soul) turned around in her seat and announced “could somebody please get up and give this disabled man a seat.”….Oh yes, she was referring to me and even though I still did not see myself as being disabled, that was me and the picture people saw. It is kind of crazy when you have these flashbacks and suddenly huge waves of nostalgia tend to drown you. How did I get here? What happened to the detailed plan I had? But there I was, all alone, each day a constant battle raging within my soul as I strove to overcome the limitations of my physical strength. Mind over matter! Mind over matter! The mantra did not seem as easy as it was when I wrote it down or told someone else.

Fast forward to this day, I can attest how topsy-turvy this journey has been and I mark today as a notable one because it has always been about the choices God helped me make each day. Refusing to give into the waiting arms of hopelessness and depression, realising that my life meant more to some other person besides me, that even when the clouds were so dark that it could pass for midnight and the gales of the biting cold winter buffeted me so much, I just had to persevere some more even if it meant calling out to or accepting the help of a stranger. Today, I realise that as many strangers came up to me to thank me for inspiring them, they were infact the very ones who were a source of inspiration to me. Strategically placed by God for times when I wanted to just give up, today they are my family.

From those dark days, the light now shines and yes there are still dark days (obviously) but I look around and realise that the options I had back then are still the same two – quit and sink or struggle as hard as I could and stay afloat. We all go through life and what we eventually become is a reflection of the everyday choices you and I make. That the very bleak times we sometimes face can either be a garment that we get lost in or we can use them as the opportunity to train our eyes to see that tiny glimmer of light ahead. We could use those times to lose the individuality of our person or we could use them to further understand that to every limit and constraint, we still get to call the shot because we all were created for a purpose. We could use those times to understand that we were not created to walk alone as against using it as a benchmark for all the bitterness and pent-up resentment just looking for an outlet.

I woke up today, realising that when it is pouring outside – it presents an ample opportunity for me to just get out there and wash off the grime that has built up from listening to the wrong people. To wash off the grime that comes from basing my actions on thinking that my efforts will always be appreciated. To wash off the grime that comes from succumbing to the heat of the moment and letting scathing words do damage, if I choose to. To wash off the grime that comes from engaging in thankless tasks and expecting other people to be grateful for what I do. Today, as always, I choose not to stop because these very ones are there unwittingly to further propel me to heights yet unknown. The rain will always pour, what we see it as and what we do with it is best left to each person. Notwithstanding what we do with it, it will surely rain and as each peal of thunder reverberates through the heavens and the lightening slashes through the skies, it is up to us to choose on what side of the line we want to stand and live.

Remember that it is in the house of sorrow that much wisdom is learnt and it is in the times of adversity that you best count your friends. For on this journey called life, there will always be a meeting and a farewell and so make every opportunity an event that will never be forgotten.

פרידה עד שנפגשנו שוב בתזמון שלו, וייתכן שאהבתו של אלוהים להיות אמיתית לך!