Rubik’s cube…..

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Image result for rubix cube

In the effort….

We have been created to be of a variety so unique that more often than not, in today’s world, the uniqueness of our very being has become an object of intense manipulation by very many – souring the good and celebrating the sour. We are gradually witnessing a deliberate choice by us to abdicate our position as influences and leaders to being absolutely at the bottom of the ladder; unidentifiable. The very heinous acts commonly fought for as being fundamentally ‘right’ today are those that even animals would not imagine. The bestiality of man is gradually coming to the fore and if unhindered, someday inevitably and already foretold, will be the catalyst of the end. I am coming to grips with the truth, we are all in need of saving but truth be told, that the need already has been met, the question now is what is your own choice regarding having the solution to that need.

I have considered varying options in recent times and just like I had been largely unsuccessful with Rubik’s cube in my growing days, so also have I almost be assuaged by the nigh on impossibility of the variations of life’s challenges. Today, I celebrate still (#JOIVrocks), not the champagne popping variety but the somber appreciation of positional and personal change. Funny how the mind works, when we realise that we are the ones who are responsible for the future we either desire or dream of or on the flip side, the catastrophe towards which we plunge to unchecked. Today I have, tomorrow I may not – so what wisdom is displayed if I do not utilise what I have today to make a positive difference because tomorrow is certainly not in my hands. In the light of this, I am discovering a growing trend of questioning the moral fibres on which we were raised, and my question is ‘are we dealing with symptomatic changes or its just a case of sheer boredom?’

In his thirties, a young African American had the boldness not just to dream but to believe in his dream and today we remember Martin Luther King Jr as the pioneer of the turning point for the racially marginalised African Americans. He was just an ordinary preacher, husband and father, but his belief drove him to the era of extraordinary.But it began with a dream and an overwhelming desire to share that dream with as many whilst holding unto the tenets of his faith and in defiance to the already ‘established’ structure. Now I am not saying we are all some form of MLK but we all have the same moral compass that he had, we all have the ability to dream but do we choose to acknowledge the ability to nurture that dream and make it count for something? Now I have chosen not to give in to what is generally accepted as laid down structure because I am me, and my life does count for something different. It surely does or else why am I stuck with a plethora of issues singularly but also peculiarly unique to me? The question I pose to myself each new day is how can I live better today even if I must leave today. Do I see my exit as a foreboding ominous gloom that I must at all costs scurry away from or do I accept that inevitability and go about altering that which I can…..remember Rubik’s cube has one outcome, just as our very lives do too.

Am I grateful for what I have or do I still mourn the loss of what I had as against looking forward to the new things awaiting me? I am truly grateful for what I have now, a new day to make some change, initiate a new chapter, shake off the regrets of yesterday’s mistakes and move on with eyes focused. Do I bestir myself from the lethargy of yesterday’s disappointments and still cling unto hope? Do I toss aside the challenges I will face because of the inherent difficulties or do I reach in and give it yet another shot? It is all about what you and I choose to do! If and when we leave, are the results going to veer towards the positive or get swallowed by the murkiness of negativity? Embedded in the lyrics of Alvin Slaughter’s song is the consistent appeal to acknowledge what we have got and yet not be so enamoured with it that we choose not to allow God use it, He placed it there in the first place. is it true that every loss births a gain and every disappointment but a disguised blessing? I would say I choose to strive to find that gain and blessing because that is what my life journey has taught me. Like two sides of a finely sliced bread, we must pick a side to lather the butter (smearing both sides is just outright messy and reveals something more to who you are) or spend the entire day vacillating between ‘to do’ or ‘not to do’ until you are overcome by the pangs of hunger and life makes the decision for you.

I have in the last three years, had doors opened up to me and then slammed in my face but I have also found myself on the right side of the slammed door – be it with me being on the outside or inside. I get to move on still, and despite the hurt of anticipation turned sour, I know that there is still something that I can do with that life situation. Least of all is that I also own my own door and who I let in or leave out is a sum function of the knowledge acquired and lessons learned (still ongoing). It ain’t over until God says its over but till then I put aside the mistakes, hurts, disappointments of yesterday and deal with what I have got today. My dad’s favorite cliche is ‘no man is an island’ but to that I dare add that who you align yourself with goes a long way in determining whether you eventually end up as an island, all isolated and alone. Regardless of how daunting life’s tasks are (nobody owes me a thing, but thanks to those who choose to support me), I choose to diligently apply myself to it and hopefully someday when I do leave, the state of my Rubik’s cube will inspire others to hope and believe more than they ever taught possible.

Remember ” Keep your face always towards the sunshine, and shadows will fall behind you” – Walt Whitman

החיים שלנו הם מתנות מאלוהים , מה שאנחנו בוחרים לעשות עם זה הוא אובהערכה או זלזול גמור של מתנה ש….. עד שנפגש שוב , ייתכןשהשמש מאירה את הדרך שלך.

Adios!

Catching The Glimpse…..

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Oh my! Spent last night counting down the hours as I sought the very elusive sleep but that is not the point behind my getting on to my keypad. Yesterday morning I did something that was completely out of character for me.  Mind you, I had a torrid week – frequent bouts of sciatica, each one seemingly more severe than the other and even immediately after my hurriedly scheduled session with my favourite chiropractor and friend, I was almost scissored in two as I was hit by another bout however I guess that is how the proverbial cookie crumbles. Life is consistent in its assigned task of the gradual process of crumbling cookies, whichever way the cookie does stand, someday it gets crumbled – an inevitable end! But in the words of Martin Luther King Jnr “Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man (situation/dystonia/FMD) can’t ride you unless your back is bent.” (emphasis mine)

And so as I yet again dealt with the arduous task of putting on my shoes (I am particular about that task because it certainly brings to bear all the control I can muster up just to perform that seemingly routine everyday chore), I decided to switch on my cute iBush HD television to distract my mind from the associated pains. And I had a mind-blowing experience as I listened to Oprah on Super Soul Sunday hosting popular American motivational speaker, Iyanla Vanzant and as I listened to her story, there were certain nuggets that hit me in the right place and made me catch that glimpse that we all need sometimes in our lonely sojourn down paths that we would never have chosen if we were given the chance to choose. I pushed aside the pain and straightened my back regardless of the tremors and intense pain along my spine because whether we choose to accept it or not, He speaks to us every moment – the question is what we have chosen to listen to.

We are blessed on all sides by gifts but most times we are not prepared to receive those gifts even when we are handed those gifts in hand. And there again, I am compelled to return to my choice subject – chance versus choice. All of us are given the chance to make an opportunity of our lives, whether we choose to acknowledge that we have been created to live a life and not solely existing for the reason of being a statistic in global population. That is an express manifestation of whatever choices we make because the chances will continue to inundate us on all sides and even as I trudge through this tunnel, I choose to catch a glimpse of the hope and rest that awaits me – knowing that every day brings a ray of hope that the cobwebs of depression can do nothing about. I look around me and I see countless others who are struggling with their own pains and hurts and I choose to realise that I can set mine aside and help them realise that in each of our darkest hours, nothing can stop the light from piercing through but it is our choice to catch that glimpse and move on or succumb to the gloom that so eagerly desires to clutch us in its embrace of cold hopelessness and depression.

“Each days dawn is like a recurrence of the first act of the Creation as if again a decree had gone forth: Let there be light. And as the earth whirls on its orbit, there sweeps westward a band of brightness, fringed by the half-light of daybreak. The suns rays, themselves all energy, bring new energy to every living thing.” – Anon E. Moss

And so each new day, I choose to wait and catch that glimpse of light, confident in the knowledge that as long as there is a ray then the whole essence of creation is and can at some moment in our existence be awash with the fullness of the light that so clearly illuminates our weaknesses, resentments, hurts, anguish, betrayals and gives us that blissful opportunity to choose to be born anew shedding all that so easily besets us and forging on with the sparkle renewed in our eyes and hope in our hearts that we can be of some assistance to just that one person who like so many of us have chosen to be swept along the rapid currents of life, not even taking a moment to appreciate the fineries and beauty of creation. I have spent many a nights, tossing in agony trying so anxiously to tell myself that pain is not synonymous with birth. But the truth remains that there must be labour pangs before something more beautiful is birthed.

Not giving in to the crushing weight of helplessness, so graciously expressed by the ignorance of many a physicians but realising that we can choose not to allow our backs be bent by whatever assails us. I was recently discussing with my friend, Mwenya and we both agreed that the time for change is not to be determined for us by anyone but that  the catalyst for change lies deep within us. Regardless of the hordes that trudge past us daily as we struggle with this elusive disorder, nobody can stop us from catching that glimpse associated with each new day. Putting aside the neighing of many, as they pretentiously whisper the usual words devoid of any sincerity and warmth, I acknowledge the few who despite their inability to fully comprehend what FMD is, still yet stand by, pledging their availability whenever the storms almost overwhelm me. I know that it is not about the path most travelled, it is about the courage to walk your own path and dare to be yourself. Pulling myself by my shoe strings and accepting that on each new section of this journey, there will always be just a few out there cheering me on. I admit that I will accept those few gifts, whispered in hushed tones and discreet gestures, knowing that each life I meet – there is something to pass on.

I realise that as the darkness swirls overhead, nothing can blot out that glimpse of hope and like many a sailors, perched on the wreckage of their vessels peering through the fog, someday I too with triumphant voice will loudly proclaim these words “LAND AHEAD! I have reached my destination” and whilst battered and bruised my body might be, my spirit is aflame with hope that victory is certain and sure. “I am well aware of the toil and blood and treasure that it will cost to maintain this liberty, and support and defend what has been so fiercely obtained. Yet through all the gloom I can see the rays of ravishing light and glory. I can see that the end is worth more than all the means.”

Remember, to live a life or simply exist is a choice that must be made, nonetheless the fact is we were created for purpose.

פרידה עד שנפגש שוב בתזמון שלו עצמו

Adios!