Admittedly this has been quite a break and in essence nothing truly substitutes the loss of a loved one especially a mother and yes, time must go on but once again a completely unexpected event has provided me with the opportunity to re-evaluate what my priorities are especially in the wake of a brand-new year. So as is demanded by common decency and etiquette, I want to bid you all, “Happy New Year!” and that is completely ensconced in a prayer that 2021 will be so much better than the chaos that characterized the past year. Nonetheless history has taught me that we can get so bedeviled by traumatic events that before we know it, we are so bogged down in the past and thus unable to appreciate new beginnings. Yet again I choose to be thankful for the gift of life and new beginnings. In retrospect, I am confident that this year has no option other than besting the last year – a year plagued with so much fear, uncertainty, sadness and adversities however adversity forces us to rethink and to borrow the words of a well-respected Minister, ‘setbacks happen so that we can prepare ourselves for a comeback.’
As is wont with me, I just have to point out that time has not ceased because we are already in the 2nd month. Now with that firmly established, what are my take-aways from 2020? What am I leaving in my rear-view mirror? What am I thankful for but most importantly what is my comeback going to be? What were those issues that I wrongly valued? What am I committed to in a bid to grab the pen and write my own narrative? The truth is that life just like a show must still go on and how do I intend to do things my own way? Have I truly re-evaluated myself? Yes I have and as is the case with many, I have come to the sad conclusion that I have so horribly discounted myself both in intentional and unintentional ways. I personally am not fond of going to shops and shopping however in response to the pandemic, I would say I am fortunate. On the few occasions I have had to shop which includes the frequent refilling of my medication, getting a discount is always a nice bit of surprise – just like having shepherd pie with apple pie truffles during a very normal and ordinary visit to a chum’s home.
Inexplicably, I have given away too many discounts to my detriment and whilst I pride myself on being assertive, I listened to a speaker who reminded me that I do not have to wait for permission to be me and that includes still living with dystonia. The truth is that the world is actually waiting for me to step into my shoes and be the best version of myself and as easily as it is for me to write this, I can assure you that there is a process to doing that and again experience has taught me that the process that leads to growth and personal improvement is usually never a walk in the park but I have since learned that most times success comes dressed in coveralls. The default nature is to have everything handed to me with me doing the least amount of work, but hey! I just have to put in the work. Disabuse my mind of all what I previously tagged as valuable even when the result is like having a yard sale with no cost tags attached, Amusingly, I have found myself in situations where I am vociferously trying to convince myself that the result I see is not simply a product of my efforts. Garbage in, garbage out!
There is a darkness and force that consistently strives to put out my light however my permission is needed for there to be a ’Lights Out!’ and I refuse to permit that, rather I am doing more to reignite the flames within and cause me to be a stronger source of light to myself and others that I am blessed to encounter. In order to be the best version of myself, I have signed executive orders – I commit to learning more; reading materials that align with upward growth, doing a yard sale for my ego and actually walking the talk regardless of how long that walk just might be…….I do have a rollator anyway. Browsing through the past and actually reinstating activities that hitherto, I felt were not just for me. Besides, what better way to influence the associations I keep other than living what I often have glibly spoken of. Doing just that in itself will definitely attract the associations that will assist me in bringing about change that is both inevitable but desperately needed.
I chose to end the past year by commencing the new one with an authorized acknowledgement and visible evidence that I am committed to this journey. I can only keep what not just attracts me but will definitely bolster me. Building new bridges and new relationships along with nurturing those that have been very impactful to me. This is more than a competition for recognition but rather a determined campaign to be more accountable to myself and others who have achieved more than they could ever have imagined. So welcome to Team Ubuntu because I can only be a subset of who my associations are. And of-course I welcome the opposition because therein do I find some affirmation that I am doing right. And even when it seems like there are more things to complain about, I choose to focus on the few things that resonate the dream within me. My focus is defined and determined by me because I already know that I was created for a noble purpose, and so still I choose to apply Script’cure because the storms will come but I am definitely ready and rather than throw in the towel, I choose to die where I stand as I press on.
The most inspiring people are not those measured by society’s definition of success but rather those who have consistently used what they have been blessed with to bless others. I am going to be more than just an inspiration but also an example. And for you who thinks nobody sees you, I do see you and rest assured there is more than enough room beside me, come on and with prayer and hard-work, we will leave a legacy that will be an attestation that we are only as strong and valuable as we have been tagged by He who resides in the heavens but yet presides over the affairs of men.
Let us remember that “Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict.” – W.E Channing
עד שניפגש שוב, מי ייתן וcountenace יזרח לטובה עליך!