Rocking the boat….

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The capacity of the human brain is a gigantic expanse and a mystery that will never be fully understood by man. Sometimes, I find myself saying things that I honestly do not remember hearing but on the other hand there are those things that were  drummed into my head while growing up that I wouldn’t lose a moment’s sleep (I really sincerely wish for that) if it was suddenly revealed that I used to say it in my sleep, “Procrastination is the thief of time.” That was one of the first proverbial statements I heard as a child especially when I was shirking doing something important and relevant, the abject truth is that even without being stolen, time like the ponderous ferry making its way across the lake, is slowly but steadily leaving in its wake so many dreams, unfulfilled purposes and quite a large number of unmarked headstones. We have slowly but surely become creations of our own flawed and erroneous concepts and sadly, the stench of decay has almost lost its noxious fumes because it is no longer offensive but actually more familiar as we cave in daily to the mounting pressures of life and its frenzied minions. “It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness” – Charles Spurgeon. There is more effort put into just existing than actually living, with the resultant effect being that inadvertently, many of us have actually crossed off happiness on our to-do lists. The natural reaction of the human body is fight or flee but these days, lives have been so beaten down that a frightening insensitivity to what is happening around us is beginning to set in. 

A couple of weeks ago, I was honored to be invited to sit on a panel of highly articulate Christian individuals at a growing Singles’ Group; The Summit and over a period of four weeks, there was ample room to share and learn candid, practicable approaches to dealing with issues relating to living a Christian life in a society that has insidiously replaced stunning virtues with an alternate antonym cunningly masked as synonyms. One of the very first questions asked was if there was actually a difference between compromise and tolerance especially in today’s world where we must allow every thought conjured in the heart of man to be given free reign all in the name of tolerance. For me, I am finding it all the more difficult acknowledging that the silver cord is loosed, that the golden bowl is broken, that the wheel has truly been broken at the cistern and so it is becoming alarmingly difficult to draw up water (which constitutes 70% of our body) from the cistern when the wheel is broken. But hold on, life seems to have continued and at a truly accelerated pace – what fuels such activities? Why are there more debilitating medical conditions than ever before? What of the incessant need to acquire more knowledge that is in no way related to alleviating the sordid conditions we live in? How on earth can you be in a boat on the sea of life and hope, with fists clenched and teeth set, that we dare not rock the boat? How does one progress if one is unwilling to move because of the fear of bucking the system. We can tolerate because we are each on a different path with different purposes, throw in the mix of our background, upbringing and beliefs and tolerance just has to be, ‘Seek to be at peace with all men…”. Compromising on the other hand is a complete wilting of the very fundamentals that should make us distinct, the question that begs answering is when are we going to look up and see the mess that we have inadvertently set ourselves in just because we were too afraid to be different. 

Completely undercutting ourselves at the knee and wondering why we are hobbling on inappropriate crutches is no longer a point of concern, we just allow ourselves be swept along with the tide, after all that is a path of no resistance. Allowing our homes to become a continuation of the chaos that is seemingly thriving daily on the outside as we scurry about in the day and night money-chasing and hoping that somehow there can be an eclipse that will keep us hidden from the world we live in. If our foundations are being closely inspected and cracks are glaringly obvious, how long do we have before our lives come crashing down like a poorly stacked pile of dominoes? Who do we have to blame now because we blamed it on the rain in the 90s and the pool of blame options has so rapidly shrunk that we are faced with a grainy image of our features in a little puddle on our path, where we have started finding ‘comfort’ sprawled out like an inebriated teen on a Friday night. One thing I have learned through the years is that the first time to be knocked to the ground, trying to rise up is always a difficult ordeal but as we develop an immunity and a predilection for staying on the ground especially when a bully is standing over us, it almost seems that staying on the ground is where you are actually meant to be – and nothing can be further from the truth than that. We are creations of God’s love and Pleasure and the ground is rarely where the pleasure is. However, in order to enjoy the pleasures, we must first believe that there are unimaginable pleasures that lie just ahead of us and with that shield of faith, we must apply those aching muscles into getting to our feet. “Faith never knows where it is being led, but it loves and knows the One who is leading” – Oswald Chambers

I am rarely moved to talk about the many personal videos I receive from social media but this one just literally became that straw that broke the camel’s back. I am going to share the story of a courageous lady who put up a video (I rarely watch them because so many are just a waste of time due to the lack of content). The first thing I noticed in the video was how distraught she was and that just spurred me to keep on watching, I kid you not when I say I felt really awful at the end of the video. Now I am in no way calling for a boycott or attempting to tarnish any image but it is the reality of the life that we currently live in. This courageous doctor, a widow who had lost her husband during his 20-year military service to his country, was aboard a flight and observed that a fallen soldier was being escorted home for burial. And like many of the greatest ideas that have marked our evolution, she had the urge to (and yielded completely) go around the aircraft cabin in mid-air asking complete strangers if they would not mind joining her to sing ‘The Star Spangled Banner’ as a way of honoring the fallen soldier and his military escort as they made their way home where he would be laid to rest. One of the things I truly believe in is that when you lose that ability to feel shame then it’s time to give out whatever meager possessions you might have amassed because that is a life not worth living. And even before Dr Pam Gaudry uttered how thoroughly ashamed she was, anyone watching it could feel the shame she felt…..after going round the aircraft and politely asking if people could join her (of course there were the nays, that’s what makes life unique), she returned to her seat buoyed by the number of affirmative responses she received and glad that she could just maybe inject some hope in what seemed like a hopeless situation.

A few minutes into the descent, she was approached by the Head Flight Stewardess (Cabin Crew team lead) and told that she could not sing the US Anthem aboard a US airline within US airspace because it was ‘against company policy’ and as she battled with that stunning piece of revelatory information, her question was what would happen to to all those who had without a thought acquiesced to her appeal. Again, in the face of so much uncertainty in t his era of not rocking the boat, she wrestled with the possible outcome if she dared disobeyed the stewardess’ curt warning and of course time waits for no man, so whilst she battled with disobeying an ‘authority’, the aircraft landed and the fallen soldier and his escort were swiftly whisked off the the aircraft. The opportunity was gone, never to repeat itself again, and it was the shame of being compelled to constrain her freedom that was tearing this unique lady apart. I reached out to her and in very clear and certain terms, I told her that it was not courage she lacked – how else would you describe going from seat to seat on an aircraft in mid-flight asking strangers if they would be willing to join her sing the US Anthem, it was the fact that we have become so convoluted as a society that wrong becomes right in the name of compromise. Now that brief video clip got me out of bed even though I meant to take the day off recuperating from the activities of the previous day and feeling the cold, unfeeling hands of Dystonia trying to stifle me. I am glad she posted that video because it gave me a boost to persist even when it seems like I stand alone, because in reality you are never alone – you might not enjoy the physical presence of a fellow sojourner who grapples with similar circumstances but all across time and space, we are bound together not by the shackles of an unknown disease but by the persistence to be different, stand strong in our battles and be proud about it even when we are told that liberty has its limits.


I look around today and cease contemplating how we got ourselves into this quagmire of selfishness and total lack of feeling for the chap next to us, instead I have realized that it serves me better when I can bring a smile to someone other than myself. Let us remember how small we will be, wrapped up in ourselves when there are over 6 billion individuals going through their own hoops and for those who have wrapped themselves in the cocoon of invisisibility, take heed lest you become the Emperor with no clothes on. You might be actually be the only person marooned in your fantasy world because the crowd currently chanting your name will disappear in a puff of smoke when the scales fall of your eyes and you realize that you and you alone have been both the king as well as the court jester. I always opine that it is never too late to begin again however the truth is that you just might be at the end of your journey and what a woeful life it would be that you spent the entirety of your years clamouring for and getting drunk on the cheap accolades of people with no vision or knowledge. It is the beginning of a new day, it is the beginning of making choices that truly count for eternity as against laying sprawled out and hoisted by the naive. I have tasted the sweetness of abundance and dwelt in the caverns of despondency, and today as I take the time to make choices that either make me a better teacher or a better student, I am grateful that there is only One whose summons are my priorities and it is to Him alone that I look unto for the strength to be different. For me, that is what keeps me going each day, faith that regardless of the bleakness of the circumstance or the mirage that shimmers in the distance, He is working it out according to His best plans for me and so here or not – my thoughts are not solely focused on how broken I am but on the fact that even while broken I can be of use, that in itself is so much to live for.

Enough of the flimsy excuses and the fleeting delight in moments of fantasy, there is a path that beckons to me and while I still can, I choose to apply myself as much as I can…and some more, just to let you know that you are not alone. “The hardest thing to remember is that what we each really want is the truth of our lives, good or bad. Not rocking the boat is an illusion that can only be maintained by the unspoken agreement not to feel and in the long run it never really works. Let go of saving the boat and save the passengers instead” – Kenny Loggins

עד ניפגש שוב, תן את היופי של ארשת פניו לזרוח עלינו!

Adios!

ADD’ing or adding……

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Do not be interested ONLY in your own life, but be interested in the lives of others” – Philippians 2:4 (The Bible)

Without clamoring for global publicity (wish I could…), I took some time out to really ponder on the fate of the over hundred teenage girls roughly abducted from their school, their families and their homes in the name of terrorism in Northern Nigeria….and really take stock of what the priorities in life really are and I have come to the sad conclusion that there are but two choices – choose to live or choose to die and inadvertently these two are inexplicably linked with each other because without life, there can be no death and for there to be life, there has to be death. And regardless of how much sentimental energies we may channel into vociferous debates about choices, we are still and will still be a function of whether we choose to live or die. And permit me to dwell upon the perspective that these phases are not limited to the physical breath we draw each day lest we forget that the physical is but a phase of life and whilst we may argue or sadly ignore this truth, the spiritual supersedes and inevitably influences the physical. There is so much more to life than meets the eyes.

“Only those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life’s deepest joy: true fulfillment” – Tony Robbins. In the brief hiatus I took from sharing on my blog, quite a number have literally ceased to live, translating from one phase to the other but have they ceased to exist in memories? I was reading an article by Rick Warren ‘Give the gift of attention!’ and I realized twas time to get back to doing what I should be doing and whilst sorrow yet ravages the hearts of many, wisdom is truly learned in the house of sorrow. One of the most popular disorders being claimed and labelled is the ADD – Attention Deficit Disorder and my view on this is that as long as the world orbits, man is naturally selfish and exploitative but my question is what have you truly chosen, life or death? So permit me to say that in my own opinion, we thrive on some form of attention be it a disorder or not ( and believe me when I tell you that I know first hand, what a disorder is – I struggle with Myoclonus, remember…) however the issue is not whether we are all victims of this disorder but how we have chosen to make our attention deprivation or lack influence our lives.

It is always a case of responding or reacting because we will always be buffeted by circumstances that want to evoke something in us that we can choose not to display, in response. I choose to make each day count for something because were it to be my last day, I would be glad to say that I have truly gained more than I have lost. For the billions of us that are seeking attention in one form or the other, by force or by subtle manipulation, by violence or peace, by giving or taking – we must all remind ourselves that where we are today will definitely not be where we will be tomorrow and I dare to surmise that it takes wisdom to truly apply ourselves to adding what we can to the lives of the people that we are surrounded by. It has taken me nigh on four decades to thoroughly appreciate this fact, a man wrapped up in himself makes a pretty small package but like the flowers of summer that so willingly give of themselves with each burst of wind, the more we give of ourselves, the more of beauty and sweet fragrance we derive. How much of folly is it when we choose to spend all of our attention on just one individual when there are millions of others that we can share a little interest in? Nobody can know everything about something but we can choose to learn something about everything. We can devote a few minutes each day, not even knowing if it is our last, to showing some interest in someone else and if only we do this, we will practically flip ADD from being a disorder to being a joy because we choose to add some joy into someone else’s life.

In a couple of weekends, fathers are going to be celebrated in the US……for giving, for adding – Father’s day! But wait a second and allow the reason sink in before the inebriation and giddiness – “The one thing about being a parent is the ability to be selfless: To give up the things you want and need for the benefit of someone else” – Danny McBride

Being selfless is a choice we each have to make every waking moment of our brief sojourn on this earth, and the question that will be asked as we are translated from this world is what are we going to be remembered for? What have we added to the lives of those that we were privileged to encounter? Have we being so overwhelmed with our own selves that we have added nothing pleasing and worth holding onto in the lives of others or have we taken a step back and made a choice to add some beauty and joy to another’s life and inevitably ours. Irrespective of what we hide behind; religion, time, culture, tradition, pride, ego, folly – someday, we will stand exposed and truly appraise ourselves for what we did with our lives. It does not have to make the news, but we can break some new ground beginning today and whilst we each struggle with our individual challenges and personal battles, let us remember this day that our lives are each a gift from God but how we choose to live it is our own way of saying thank you for that gift. Remember to add a positive into just one new person today and see where the attention truly lies.

I choose to. 

lמסתדר טוב עד שניפגש שוב בזמן שלו

Adios!

Whispering in the shadows….

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A whisper in the dark....

A whisper in the dark….

Beauty deprived of its proper foils and adjuncts ceases to be enjoyed as beauty, just as light deprived of all shadows ceases to be enjoyed as light”John Ruskin

I usually try to surmise my life experience of living with Myoclonus with this witty remark of walking through the valley of the shadow of death with just a flickering candle in hand to combat the swirling darkness trying so desperately to overwhelm me. To many, it defies comprehension especially when you juxtapose it with the developed economies where there is stability of power save for the disastrous after effects of a hurricane, blizzard or tornado just like the one witnessed a couple of days back. (One of the survivor’s son who was interviewed thanked God for making his mum quite nosy because a tree crashed down through her trailer in the exact spot where she had been seated some seconds ago……she stood up to go to the window after she saw a sheet of metal hurtling past her window!) However the light from my flickering candle drives me on through these challenging times.
It never ceases to fascinate me how weird the truth usually sounds – much wisdom is learned in the house of sorrows and the best time to number your friends is in the times of adversity. But regardless of how weird and creepy it comes across, there is always the exhilarating freshness of liberation in its wake. Nobody can understand the pain of your situation but people will always be drawn to your ability to smile despite your pain. I was having a conversation with a friend who had chosen to remain on her side of the road after my crossing even though she had largely prepared me for the crossing and it was amusing to hear her describe me as being ‘normal’ these days or for wont of a more appropriate comment ‘dealing with my demons’. Funny really because demons will always exist, why were they created if not to serve their purpose and so whether we choose to admit it from the perspective of a refusal to cross the road with someone or not, we all have to deal with the shadows because the shadows only exist with light.
It is much easier to appreciate the light when you have been in the shadows and whilst some might construe it literally, there are and will always be shadows that surround us and what an ignorant life to live when we deny the existence of these shadows. I have walked in the shadows of isolation, dearth of emotional support et al with the onset of this neurological disorder and it has further revealed and heightened the inadequacies we choose to comfort ourselves with when the shoe seems to be on the other person’s feet but I have learned that we can only give what we have. No natural disaster is going to imbue us with what we consistently choose not to have and so the differentiating factor is not being able to say that someone has finally dealt with their demons and so it is now safe to cross the road but being able to rightly discern the existence of the shadows and yet choose to be that whisper in the gloom urging another towards the light.
I may not have all the expertise in sharing my thoughts however I do what I can and choose to because I know that just by sharing my heart, I might be building a bridge over a chasm in someone’s world. Like the faint whisper of the spring breeze as it caresses all that lies in its path, so we can make a choice to be that positive influence in those fleeting seconds as we pass through the lives of others.
I was invited to a soccer game by my buddy and despite the fact that they lost the game by four points, I itched for the feel of running, kicking the ball, breaking out in sweat from the physical exertions of bodily exercise. I did none of that for obvious reasons but I did lend my stuttering voice to his team encouraging them to do more and guess what; it sucked that they lost but I was glad to have been a voice of encouragement. Now, many of us might have been content with just being a silent spectator but we can choose to do more than that. Make a difference in someone’s moment of dismay and discouragement, be a whisper in the shadows that surround someone else and be assured that in those few moments, you will put your own shadows at bay. Whilst your candlelight may be flickering, be daring enough to light that other candle that has just puttered out and in the space of those moments, bask in the warmth of the smile on that face in front of yours.
I will always be grateful for these challenging times because a whole new path has opened up before me, I have found love and support in seemingly hopeless times. I have been given a second chance to make a demand on life for what I know I deserve, I have shared in the pains and sufferings of many and have been privileged to do something beautiful amidst the ashes of smouldering dreams. I have learned that you can choose not to judge the actions of others because my circumstances have birthed a wider and clearer perspective and words mean nothing until they are translated into actions, no matter how little they are. I have chosen to enjoy the little moments that come my way not because I am unable to sleep but because I realize that it is a blessing being awake when most people are asleep. I choose to prayerfully assist others not because I expect miracles when I am prayed for but I understand better that the best times to give are when every fiber in your being is screaming to withhold even if it is just to alleviate some periods of pain and anguish to yourself.
As I awaken each day, I am thankful because I have a voice and be it a whisper or a full-throat roar of encouragement, I choose every day to set the shadows just a little bit away for myself by being a voice in someone’s shadows. I remind myself every passing day that it a duty to myself to ascertain and apply myself to my purpose for these times and regardless of how much I receive in return, my work is done and will still be.
Remember that life’s sorrows are but a birthing process that truly separates the bold and different from the rest of the pack. No two chances are ever the same so make a choice to make the best of today’s situation.

lמסתדר טוב עד שניפגש שוב בזמן שלו

Adios!

Little Gestures…..

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“You know about a person who deeply interests you more than you can be told. A look, a gesture, an act, which to everybody else is insignificant tells you more about that one than words can” – Henry D. Thoreau

Wednesdays are my favourite days – I was born premie on a Wednesday, it marks the middle of the week (an opportunity to improve and turn around from antecedents), it deviates slightly in nomenclature and it describes me perfectly and I wanna share this one.

“Whenever you are not living on the edge, it simply means that you are taking up too much space” these are the words Morgan Freeman has striven to adhere to since his encounter with Clint Eastwood and those same words resonated a chord within me when I heard them on Sunday because I have learnt that everything about life is a balance, and that balance is clearly evident in the beauty of the life and creation that surrounds us. And for me, living on the edge is a delicate balance that we all should strive to either by choice or by compulsion. I am greatly moved by the number of feedback that I have received from this simple but thoroughly enjoyable self assigned task of writing, and to the number of unique individuals all over the world who I have been privileged to come in contact with….I doff my hat and applaud them. Being different, even in little gestures by following this blog, liking a link or actually posting a comment, is such a monumental task especially in a world that consistently wants you to just be part of the crowd.

Yesterday was the service of songs of an old schoolmate of mine from High School, a sad loss because he was still in his prime and I recall my conversation with my old classmate about how much a living hell he almost made my life back then but what doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger. So thank you, Tabana (Tagbo Chuba Agbim) – may your soul truly find bliss! Going through Facebook, I was awed at the size of the crowd that were able to make out the time to make their presence felt (unfortunately I missed that of my friend, Debbie). In the words of my old classmate – Andy, someone who has also tried to be there for me, belonging to such an awesome group like the alumni of your High School is such a profound experience and at my last count, there are over 2,000 FGCW facebook members and this is no mean feat because I have also met some truly wonderful individuals there. Dee, you are always in my thoughts and HCM, thanks for the love.

I recently came across an article that stated the top 5 greatest regrets of the dying – Wishing you had the courage to truly express your feelings, Wishing you had stayed in touch with your friends (now it is pertinent to correctly define a friend as one who is neither scared to correct you when you are wrong nor scared to stand with you even when you are all alone) and Wishing you had let yourself be happier. Now how scary are these wishes because they epitomise the very fears that plague many of us today and still a countless number are too lily livered to confront their fears. Need I remind us of the inevitability of death? “Maybe the fact that when we do admit that death is inevitable, some of us may be bold enough to lead meaningful lives” – the sands of time will always be there if we acknowledge that making our lives sublime will ensure we do leave footprints behind when we are gone. And as I marvelled at the size of the crowd at Tabana’s funeral, I asked myself ‘why do we always wait till people are departed before we are bold enough to show those little gestures that go a long way than mere words or being just an attendee at a funeral?’

Each day arising in its splendour provides us with ample opportunities to be more resourceful in the lives we have been privileged to encounter, with special attention to those who we know are going through a tough patch at that point in time. Regardless of how irrelevant we choose to be, considering that your pocket list or to-do list begins and ends with you, one thing stands sure – you will either be remembered for what you did or what you did not do? John Ruskin says ‘A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package‘ and all around us, extremely tiny packages are bustling about, trapped in their fears of being unable to liberate themselves from self-centredness. How expensive is a kind word offered to someone in pain? How close to bankruptcy will sending a bouquet of flowers or a get well card or a gift to someone who is ailing bring you to? How fulfilled do you feel when you don your well pressed garments and sit in attendance at the funeral of someone who you were blessed to know, knowing that there were so many little gestures you could have chosen from to say ‘I care about you’ whilst the deceased was still alive? When do we actually bestir ourselves to actually begin to live a life as opposed to just existing?

I have the profound privilege of experiencing one of the countless blessings from God after staying many years with one of the lowliest individuals that can ever be found (and you really have to search for this category of individuals – they are committed to a life of misery, woe and an inevitable end), one who contracted the deadly HIV from her clandestine amorous affairs and sought to desperately pass it across by attempting to conceal it from me. I stand unscathed and stronger, and I can say without an iota of pride that when you truly give, you can never ever be disconcerted or discomfited. What is it about this 6-letter word (GIVING) that causes the pride of creation to suddenly choose to become a blithering being – a far position from your real position? And how much consolation will the sudden effusion after the life is gone really bring to you? WAKE UP! Look around you, the Tabanas, the Debbies don’t give a hoot anymore – you had the chance but you chose not to. Making that persistent choice to just be a face in the crowd and maybe if you aspire hard enough, an image in a group picture is definitely not the way to live a life sublime, least of all leaving footprints in the sands of time.

It is such an honour that I am living on the edge, and encountering unique individuals who are also doing so, even with the botox shots and the bouquet of medication whose side effects are often scarier than the effects of the drugs themselves. Individuals who despite their cramped fingers, painfully distorted muscles and limbs and tremor-giving ‘moves like Jagger’ can still find time to show those little gestures that tell you that they are still willing to give even when they ought not to. Being un-scared to talk about their fears and still be bold enough to see hope in the hopelessness that seems to assail them on all sides. I recall my last conversations with my attorney and solicitor and friend, and with regards to their question about how I was coping with the bills and related issues – I can say honestly thank you to all those who chose to say no and do nothing because like Albert Einstein, I also can say I did it by myself – strengthened all the way by Him who delights in me. We are all presented with opportunities daily to do something right, give of ourselves without fear because in truly giving, we experience not just happiness but joy (and I assure you the latter is definitely better and longer lasting).

I choose not to focus on the nay sayers or the dead seas that surround me, but instead reach within me and still give irrespective of how little these gestures may be because I am wholly convinced that my little will be transformed to  much in the life of just at least one individual who desperately needs it. And so I say, to you, feel free to call on me and you will have a listening ear in the first instance because I know what a lonely road it is, being different and living on the edge, and how priceless true companionship is and together we can each proclaim “I AM STILL STANDING, bring it on!!!”

Remember, to live a life or simply exist is a choice that must be made, nonetheless the fact is we were created for purpose.

פרידה עד שנפגש שוב בתזמון שלו עצמו

Adios!

Letting go…..

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Back in the days as kids playing around and being fascinated with the beauty of nature and its many mysteries, I recall catching my first butterfly with its gaily coloured and delicate wings. Placing it in a ready matchbox, I dashed home to show my prize and heard one of the most profound statements and still today, a fundamental guideline for my life….“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.”
―Ann Landers.

One thing we really have no power over is what life throws at you, what we can do is choose how to react or respond to those situations and therein lies the distinguishing factor between the great and the ordinary. The other day, we gathered as a church to celebrate life without limits, without the boundaries of human limitations and frailties and the overwhelming knowledge that we are all uniquely created with gifts to share and purposes to be met. And even as the warm rays of the sun brightened the park, it was a joy to behold life and celebrate it, regardless of my neck brace, disc doctor and my able staff of authority. It was indeed an opportunity to choose yet again to redefine who I am and what I can do with the very lives I encounter.

Just like the mystery of nature, so also is the mystery of the human body or more precisely the human brain, and even as I still recall my last consult with my neurologist – I still acknowledge that there will always be certain aspects that will defy our grasp regardless of how much we want to reach out and comprehend. As I mull over our discussion, she was honest enough to point out the fact that Movement Disorders are still unexplainable, kudos to her because I really did lay into her because it does get infuriating when the so-called experts cannot even admit that life is a constant learning curve. You can never know everything about something so it is best to learn something about everything and don’t stop there, implement the knowledge you have obtained and move on and learn some more.

For many of us, we are constantly assuaged with the desire to keep holding on to that elusive fantasy and just when we think we have gotten it, it hits us in our guts that strength is really defined by the act of letting go. Someone said ‘ Maturity is being able to say no’ which to me is another form of letting go and whilst we rush around with our many aspirations and dreams, let us remember this – the real strength of character is not defined by what we can grab but what we can let go. Admittedly, it can be painful at times but I dare you to compare your situation before and after you truly let go. I have chosen to let go of so many things and some have shred my heart asunder whilst others have been a walk in the park, however I can say that I am better off for we were born with nothing and depart with nothing someday we will.

My dear friend EE finally achieved closure the other day when she ran into her ex-husband after so many years, and because she had painfully let go, she was able to walk to him head-up, eyes a-twinkle and say hi. Now as she regaled me with that chance encounter, I could hear the triumph in her voice because that was a won battle even with the scars that serve as reminders, letting go had given her that edge she thought was unreachable. Today, she is an example to many out there who think that letting go is an act of cowardice, and even as she prepares to renew her vows again – a distinct persona she truly has become. It is such a privilege to have encountered you. I could go on and on with tales of ordinary individuals who have made that choice to let go and inevitably the end is always the same – triumph, victory, unimagined self-development and add flair and finesse to that picture.

I have an appointment tomorrow with a specialist pain physiotherapist (and of course there is a lot of trepidation and apprehension), yet another doctor again but one with such a scary title and still I choose to let go of my fears and accept the fact that I will always emerge on top regardless of whatever comes my way. I have let go of my privacy and chosen to share my story with as many as would give it a read because in the end, we are remembered for what we gave and not so much as what we received. Change is said to be the only permanent thing in life and the question is why then are we so terrified of change? “We can’t be afraid of change. You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in, but if you never venture out of it, you will never know that there is such a thing as an ocean, a sea. Holding onto something that is good for you now, may be the very reason why you don’t have something better.”
― C. Joybell C.

Walking this journey, most times alone, has been such an exhilarating adventure because it has made me realise that there are people out there who believe they have everything when in retrospect they have got nothing. John Ruskin aptly puts it thus ‘A man wrapped up in himself really makes a small package’ and I dare to add that letting go is the surest way to be as expansive as you were made to be. Look deep into yourself and ask yourself this question, what am I keeping so hard that it is causing me pain? Why am I choosing to  endure this anguish just to present a facade which is a front hiding the real you? Where can I truly give off myself to allow change take its course and re-emerge like the proverbial phoenix from the ashes of its cremation? There is more blessing in giving than in receiving – those few words surmise one of the greatest principles in life and remember that one man gave his life that we may be who we were really meant to be. What an amazing example to emulate!

It is almost midday and I have to start preparing to go meet my spine popping Russian as described by my lil brother, I have to let go of the confines of my room to enjoy the warm weather and some pain as usual but I am glad for this day. And irrespective of how many let downs I may have (especially from those closest to me), I am thankful for the ups too from the elite chosen few and look forward in faith to being who I was made to be – a blessing to as many as I can reach even if it is just a friendly hello or a warm smile. I want to leave you with these words of C. Joybell

“A star falls from the sky and into your hands. Then it seeps through your veins and swims inside your blood and becomes every part of you. And then you have to put it back into the sky. And it’s the most painful thing you’ll ever have to do and that you’ve ever done. But what’s yours is yours. Whether it’s up in the sky or here in your hands. And one day, it’ll fall from the sky and hit you in the head real hard and that time, you won’t have to put it back in the sky again.”

Truth remains that when you let go, you let God and what an amazing return you are sure to get.

Also remember………………we were made to live for His pleasure and not just exist.

 פרידהעדשנפגששובחבריםיקרים ….

Adios!