The rocky path…

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“Bless me, Father, for I have erred. My last post was 15 months ago.” How quickly time flies, and the irony in that phrase, is how valuable a resource it is in life, and how minimal an influence we have on it. This brings me to yet again question some of the cliché statements, we so quickly utter without actually giving it some thought. “When you eat with the devil, ensure that you do so with a long spoon.” Why on earth would you even want to dine with the devil? “The devil you know is better than the angel you don’t know.” Yet again, how and where on earth, would you categorize good and evil as not just being equals, but we push the limits even further by inferring that there’s some goodness in evil.

It’s being a while, and I apologize however, I still write, but I just started posting directly on Facebook. I decided to come back here because I had auto-renewed the fee, but more importantly, as I watched the darkness of the night gradually give way to the dawn and light of a new day, I could see my kids in slumber because we decided to go camping yesterday. One about to leave the nest, and the other about to be thrust into the maelstrom that usually qualifies life. Each representing a dynasty, each unique and yet different, but the love that so tightly binds them together being tested severely and all I can do is watch, unable to do anything but trust the One who made me, and has kept me thus far even when I really contemplated the insouciance of the struggles, the fights, and the unrelenting pummeling.

I mean it does fill like I can write a few movie scripts from just the events of the last 6 months. “Stay on course, mate” I mutter to myself even as I catalogue events and categorize them, futile in keeping pace with time. I did realize, for maybe the first time, that I cannot move from the front door of where we call home, to the back door in 11 seconds. Screw dystonia, and every malady that plagues man. Well, that’s going to be the subjects of some other posts that I hopefully get to write before I no longer can. Is it fair to call vulnerability a strength? It is impossible for one to have all the answers because we would just re-create the ice age or the era of the caveman. That’s how limited we are, so what’s better than entrusting all of our cares and worries to The One who created all things.

Rocky road

For some reason, as I watched my kids sleep (the next generation, my descendants) and mused over recent events, I was thrust back to memories about 40 years old. I was raised Roman Catholic, and so the first sentence was paying homage to that. We would wake up by 5am, usually with the help of the rod of correction. Nothing, I can assure you, drives sleep away faster than the painful lash of the whip. How different today is, kids sleep in on weekends, corporate punishment and discipline are on the verge of becoming extinct with the tweaking that society compels you to do, as a parent. Oh, yes, back then, sleeping in wasn’t even imagined, least of all having a vestige of what it is today. Thank you, 7Up, the difference is clear.

Even on weekends, we woke up by 5 am and then we would herd out to the sitting room, of course after making your own bed, and we would say or pray or recite the rosary. No offense meant to my brethren under the authority of Pope Leo XIV. Weekends usually meant there was time to say the Joyful, Sorrowful & Glorious mysteries, that’s 15 beads comprising of 3 recitals of 5 beads. Then, my dad would read or have one of us read a page from ‘Just a Moment Please!’ by J. Maurus and then we would ‘discuss’ it and round up family devotion with a prayer from one of the many prayer books. Then it was off to the races, each of us going to the section of the house where your chore demanded your presence. The external chores were dreadful, but I remember this story.

A man watched a farmer harvest his potatoes and just throw them into the cart with the donkey hitched and patiently waiting, in what seemed like a very disorganized manner. It bothered this man so much because he knew sorting it would be better because it could be sold faster, that he politely asked the farmer why he was not sorting them first. The farmer took a break, looked at the man and responded, “Oh, I always take the roughest road to the market and by the time I arrive at the market, it would be sorted.” The man thought about it and asked for more clarification. “Oh, I take the roughest path, because with every bump, the potatoes would move and ultimately by the end of the trip, the largest ones would have made their way to the bottom and the smaller ones would remain on top.”

The fascinating thing about the explanation was that farmers back then were usually not very educated but today schools charge an arm and a leg to ‘teach’ what the farmer was already applying; the law of gravity, Newton’s laws of motion etc. And till today, I’ve never forgotten the ‘moral’ of the story (usually real life events) and the moral for the day. You see, life is that rough road and we are the potatoes. Every obstacle we face; separating men from boys, the strong from the weak, the leaders from the followers. However ,the true takeaway is that the big ones get to the bottom because they can bear the weight of the smaller ones without being crushed. Till this day, the objective of society is emphasis on getting a ‘better’ bargain and so most people choose to sorting, putting the smaller ones at the bottom so that you get a ‘better’ bargain.

Cart of potatoes

At first glance, the cart looks great with large potatoes but at the bottom are crushed potatoes, and that by any standard is a bad purchase. We can not live life without figuring and accepting our identity and purpose. Some of us are made strong, not so that we flaunt it or bully others weaker than us, but rather to help elevate them. We’re blessed with wealth, not to have men kowtow and gravel before you, but so that with those blessings and riches, you pull others up and empower those who are in need. It’s a difficult concept and thus John Ruskin captures it aptly, “A man wrapped up in himself, makes a small package.” Each day, we get to choose how we impact the lives we encounter as we bounce around on life’s rough road. We must choose what is more important to us, getting a better bargain through deceit or getting a better bargain by selling the smaller potatoes first.

Oh, not again, why are his posts so grave and serious? Well, my friend, I talk about life and my experiences, I’m not a circus owner, so do forgive me because my objective is to help at least one person who reads this. I want you to know that I see you, and I may not understand what you are going through at the moment, but I can say to you, “Keep your chin up, and never give up because life is not fair.” The market is closer than you think, and all the soreness, all the pain, all the anguish, is about to end as long as you don’t give up. You have got value, and if you have been told contrary all your life, take this one statement from one who has been through stuff that you can not even imagine, “You are valuable!”

I’m in no way saying that my road is rougher than yours, that would be ignorance, all that I am saying is that you are in charge of your life. You’re the only one whose decisions really count because you’re going to face the consequences of your decisions. So stop, take a breath, look around, smell the fragrance of the flowers, listen to the twittering of the birds, and remind yourself that the future will always be better than today, as long as you don’t bring the mistakes of the past into today. Today’s all we have, let us make it count for something great because there’s someone out there that could use a smile, a kind word or a hand extended in assistance. Remember that you have a smile, a means of communication and a limb, prosthetic or not.

Adieu!

עד שניפגש שוב, תרימו את הראש ותחייכו אל הסערה!

The other side…

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What?

“Never look down on any individual except you want to look at their shoes!”

How and when did being truthful become an anathema? Oh, the ways of men! Well I opine that most times, we prepare for the fight but lay down and stay down when the fight is on. What is life that we are so ensconced in ourselves that when another person asks a simple request of you, it easily hurdles over the common decency of ordinary courtesy. Growing up, courtesy was not taught, it was implemented but alas now courtesy is a favor that is bequeathed from your throne to an underling. 2021 is already shaping up to being a year that as it unfolds, allows us a better glimpse of what are really priorities and what should not even be mistaken as a priority. The last month was a period of facing harsh realities and overcoming demons because a life with no purpose is a life firmly embedded in misery. Yes, social media has become an art gallery filled with so many fraudulent copies of truth, and so there is an unending line to get into that gallery because in there, we can enjoy the dearth of anonymity and its accompanying lack of expectations.

The grass always seems better on the other side however what of those that have been on both sides and can attest that where you are is a platform for you to learn or teach. Remarkably, we have attuned our hearing to ignore what is being loudly spoken of, and rather choose to attempt to redefine insanity. True, we are each a work in progress whether narcissism and ego choose to allow you to acknowledge that. Like the shifting sands of the desert, the experiences we ought to learn from are immediately forgotten and buried because that is what we choose because it calls for no effort on our part. Today is a gift (and ironically it is also the beginning of a new month), now the question is what do we plan to do or are we set up to fail because we have hastily cast off the responsibility and discipline that comes with making a plan, sticking with it and also having the flexibility to adapt to changing circumstances. I lost a peer recently and the world is still moving on, does that mean that I am bereft of emotion or just dealing with the grief in my own way? It is the latter and even as the lessons he imparted in the 4 decades he lived are mine to implement or discard where necessary, life goes on.

In the course of beginning a new career, I have truly been swamped by the glaring inequality of life. Like a rollercoaster; up today and down tomorrow with absolutely no clue as to when we must get off that ride but then my ability to choose is something that nothing and nobody can take away from me. Who are you? What are you? Why are you you? These are questions of intense gravity because within the answers lies our purpose. No matter how much we long to be on the side, there is a time for that and regardless of how manipulative and deceitful we choose to be, what has brought you thus far is certainly not going to be able to take you to the next place and unfortunately for many, it will be a reversal in so many ways. Till the right time, even when we cunningly make our way to the other side, rest assured that like fish out of water, you are most likely unable to survive because to every season, there is a time just as there is a beginning and an end to every season regardless of how long you have been there. Identify your weaknesses and focus on transforming them to strengths instead of flaunting them as laurels because even as you bask in the false and rapid applause of those who are gifted in flattery, the truth is we must be willing to learn from every circumstance or else you face the agony of life; emotionless in her teaching.

Each morning, I am reminded that the troubles of every new day are never that God has changed His standards midway but rather it is about me choosing to make the day count by seeking out and focusing on the blessings that come with each new day. And so with the obvious blessing that is illustrated in the fact that I am not concerned about the quality of air that I breath (even while I slept), there is so much that we can do not just in being thankful but by actually living it out. The slogan is ‘keep on paying it forward’ and that is without having a sense of entitlement to a better response because it is truly not just about me but rather it is about what I do with what I have with respect to the lives I am blessed to encounter. That summarily is how I live each day until my name is called and my role is finally over, but till then I owe my Creator and the lives I come across an obligation to be better than I was the day before – the last encounter. This is a journey, with no idea if it is a sprint or a marathon however the rules still apply – you can do something with what you have and as long as you apply yourself to doing the best you can, be reminded that the rest is up to God. Once again, I remind myself not to grow weary in well doing because there is seed time and harvest time, I cannot afford to let the challenges of the completely mysterious ways that others respond to me become my primary focus.

I am who I am because God made a masterpiece in me and whilst the full brilliance is still unexposed, I must journey on with the knowledge that I am a masterpiece not due to the actions or inactions of others but because that is what I am and will always be. I choose not to give up and I encourage you to do same because there will always be a day of reckoning and I definitely want to be on the Roll that is up yonder.

עד שאלוהים יפסיק לתת לנו נשימה, מראה הפנים שלו יזרחו עליכם לטובה!

Adieu!