Tag Archives: God

The Solitude of pain……

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“Where, O death, is your victory?    Where, O death, is your sting?”

Yesterday, I longed with outstretched arms for my final triumph……triumph over death, a victory sure and certain in Him!

Friday marked the end of a horrid week and just like a child watching the shadows disappear with the dawning of a new day, ironically but whimsically I stayed awake to watch it exit and reach with gladness the joys of a brand new day. And no, I mean it literally because for all of us, death is a subject best left at bay until with cold icy fingers, it snatches away someone very close and dear to you and that is when it hits you; the inevitability of death. And what better conquest than not just to acknowledge there is victory even in death but to also acknowledge that the triumph is real and can be yours when you believe.

Mind you, my longing was not due to the near death encounter I had trying belatedly to get off the Jubilee line, the doors swooshing close with pneumatic force, trapping my companions – my staff (Simple) and my mini holdall. Thankfully, I was not as fast as I used to be because I would have been caught by the doors performing their monotonous yet essential task. Yet again, even then, I marvel at the good in humanity for those who without a thought give it manifest when suddenly a need is thrust upon them. Two commuters, one inside and another outside the train, sprang to life and wrestled the doors open, freeing me with a cheeky grin on their faces even as I bestowed my gratitude on them. For them, it was just another call to duty – these are the everyday heroes who go unannounced whilst knighthoods are being bestowed on people just for the fun of it, for doing what they have always done, nothing extraordinary reminding me again that present day societal life is a whirlpool, sucking the good and expelling flotsam and debris that is frantically clutched to and termed good by the crowd.

It was the realisation as I lay upon the examination table, feeling the gentle hands of Richmond trying to restore blood circulation to my spine and my constantly overworking muscles responding to the chaotic signals being emitted by my brain. The torque like sensation in my lumbar, the pain like the lapping waves of the sea – intense most times and tender but still there, blepharospasm and facial twitches, poor proprioception……just that realisation that even they just like everyone else can never understand how you feel and when I am inundated by the  incessant and more often insincere ‘how are you doing?’, it is also a stark reminder that I am all alone in this and when I look down at the only helping hands I have got and realise even as they hurt that I might just have exhausted all my innate strength to go on, I have a choice – to see beyond the blepharospasm and look upwards, embracing in all humility the inexhaustible reserves of strength available. I have made peace with my best friend after I laid into him after a very aggravating call from one who should know better after nigh on 2 decades.

The question ‘is it curable? can it be managed?’ gingerly put across to me by the lift operator as I made my way to the ticket floor  was one filled with concern and with the clouds already threatening to overwhelm me, I smiled and nodded, still feeling very isolated and alone – not by choice but by the circumstances in which I am in because in all sincerity, nothing brings that realisation quicker than when you are being probed by different medical experts and hear varying comments from these medical experts. They do not understand! Nobody human really can except you have walked those shoes or are walking in them….

“Row upon row of cheering spectators

Crowd the vast arena full

But there is only one man who really knows

And he is the one who faces the bull”

Now if you have ever watched a toreador do his thing with so much panache, you always fail to realise that each time the bull charges at him, that is just a man against over 2000 lbs of rage and muscle. He is a man just like you, and whilst he may be skilled in his act, he is still a man. For many who have been isolated by pain and have given into the solitude of pain, this is for you because I know what it feels. And just as the friendly rail official remarked that I looked very comfortable stretched out on the wooden seat at West Ham (after of course asking if I was alright), I recalled the lyrics of Bon Jovi

“I wanna lay you down in a bed of roses / For tonight I’ll sleep on a bed of nails / I wanna be just as close as your Holy Ghost is / And lay you down on a bed of roses”

acknowledging with clarity and certainty, the unfailing closeness of Him despite all that is going on presently and knowledge that the shadows are being chased back as each new day dawns with its own cache of memorable moments and a new set of unique individuals like mentally impaired Teddy who would give anything just to lay in a bed of roses and that is what keeps me going. The words of encouragement from my best friend and father accompanied with those of  Kalthume and the very few who have and are still standing with me, each day bringing in someone new even if it is just briefly. We are all made to achieve some good in someone else and whether we choose to fulfil that role, the choice is ours. Mine has been made and yet again, I pull back the curtains of despair and reach down with aching and cramped hands to my shoelaces………..and pull myself up again. This is not over until I say it is, I too love the opera and can attain those notes the fat lady can because I am as unique as she is.

“A man dies …. only a few circles in the water prove that he was ever there. And even they quickly disappear. And when they’re gone, he’s forgotten, without a trace, as if he’d never even existed. And that’s all” – Wolfgang Borchert

Today, again I reiterate my choice – I am not just gonna be a mere ripple in this vast waters of life, alone or accompanied. I choose to be an inspiration to as many. I choose to give a shoulder and a listening ear to as many as desire it. I choose to wear out not rust, and finally amidst a blaze of glory, watch as my flames burn down with many a hearts warmed by the special privilege I had of meeting with them. I recall Sanaa, who just turned 12 on Wednesday as she was wheeled aboard the EL2 in her wheelchair under the watchful eyes of her carer, Vanessa. With a huge smile plastered on her face as she tried to make words and cope with her mental challenges, I reminded myself that I have enjoyed the privileges she may never know, for nigh on four decades and so the least I can do is make her smile just a mite wider. With a shy farewell we parted ways and that brief encounter for me gives me the zest to continue, regardless of a body that is responding to chaotic neural signals and the incessant pain. I know that I can and I choose to.

And remember………………we were made to live for His pleasure and not just exist.

 פרידהעדשנפגששובחבריםיקרים ….. 

Adios!

 

Plunging Deep…..

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With a level 3 heat wave warning already being broadcast, the very first thought that crosses your mind as you step out into the streets is the alluring image of yourself in gaily coloured swim trunks, abs defined, plunging into a  cool swimming pool (preferably isolated for people like us) with a poolside bar that serves chilled daiquiris with the umbrella thingy and a rainbow straw or a chilled tumbler of well prepared chapman with bitters and then with the harsh brightness of the wonderful sun, suddenly you realise that the mind really can play tricks on you. Watching people of all sizes and shapes, many in very indecent apparels (all in the guise of getting a tan), you can only but appreciate the beauty of the seasons. For with every season, there is a beginning and an end, and the teeny weeny differentiator for us as individuals is choosing to pull out mid season or holding on till the end of the season and the commencement of a better one.

I have not been able to muster the funds for my standing air conditioning unit so I’ve chosen to utilise my little halogen fan and basically ride out the season (save myself a couple of quid especially as I am seeing my Pain Specialist on Friday and my spine popping Russian this week too). Admittedly, I have to admit that the last few days have been so filled up with appointments that at the end of the day, being passed through a huge milling machine is kinda like an understatement and when the questions come, I can only respond that certain things I just have to do myself even at my own toddly pace. As for the strength, you know as I do, I have run out of mee own strength reserves but thankfully with an upwards glance, I acknowledge that there is an inexhaustible supply which I gladly choose to exploit.

Now again, just as one of the many perks of being in this medically challenging period, I was privileged to listen to one of the most unique couples in this part of the world recount their tales of utilizing their time and God-given potentials to change the world one person at at time and it especially came on the heels of a video clip, that my solicitor and friend sent me of the shameless display of thuggery and sheer insanity in one of the ‘hallowed’ chambers of parliament in one of the states of the self acclaimed sleeping giant of Africa and it is in indeed no wonder that things have gotten this bad and obviously still will because I was also opportune to watch the debate between Tony and Ed which was almost like a game of who can provoke the loudest laughs in the chambers. Clearly a huge difference between both scenes but the message is clear that whilst we choose to do nothing, let us loudly remember the words of Helen Keller “Science may have found a cure for most evils; but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all — the apathy of human beings.”

Aboard the District Line, we were regaled by a pair of jovial fellows with a guitar and a violin, as they chose to play and make that little moment something worth remembering and in response to my question, one of them remarked ‘we just do it for fun’ and I add life is too short to spend all the time on the dive board awaiting the perfect moment to dive in. I say, just plunge in and get swimming! For a huge number of us, we choose to spend more time on the sidelines being very vociferous even to the extent of being obnoxiously annoying when all that is needed is just for you to hold your breath and plunge in. Get those energetic words into action, life is way too short to spend it all on the bylines, sending out video clips on youtube and doing absolutely nothing else is abysmal. Like I always say, begin with that one. You may not know the decision makers for your borough but you do know your next door neighbour who has tons of decisions to make and whether we want to admit it or not, those decisions can very well alter your own life. Remember the story of the cow who was so indifferent when the mouse came complaining about the trap the farmer was setting, well life is cyclical and so opt now to do something about that issue that seems so unrelated to you.

Lyndon Bowring (CEO, C.A.R.E) shared one of the most memorable moments of his life, not from his offices across Westminster, not within the rooms of 10 Downing Street but in the steps of the Oxford Station (if I recollect clearly). Just as I advice everyone I come in contact with, do not ask ‘you doing alright’ just because everyone else says it but ask it with sincerity and expect an answer because you do care. So Lyndon came across a laddie vending the Evening Standard and asked him the question………and waited for the response. Wait for it……the laddie with a grimace revealed that he was so sorely pressed that he needed to dash across the street and avail himself of the restroom and was only hoping for someone who would be kind enough to cover his post for a couple of minutes (nobody is really that fast…lol!). Now there was Lyndon, briefcase in hand confronted with a need and with a second to choose, he offered to help. Within seconds, briefcase plunked down by his side, there was Lyndon (not just any person) vending the Evening Standard whilst the laddie hurried off to do his business. In Lyndon’s words, those moments remain one of his most memorable moments and permit me to say that those very moments are so hurriedly passed by when they constitute memorable in every letter of the word. Yeah, he sold off quite a few and was just getting into it when the moment passed but he plunged in and got refreshed and continued with a lesson learnt.

It is not always behind the doors of Parliament that lives are influenced, yes, decisions concerning all of us are made there but for many of us who are awaiting that moment when we can strut through the front doors of 10 Downing Street to the awaiting paparazzi, every day presents a unique moment to plunge into the life of someone and make a difference. I have this to say to the many professed Christians “Christians have no business thinking that the good life consists mainly in not doing bad things. We have no business thinking that to do evil in this world you have to be a Bengal tiger, when, in fact, it is enough to be a tame tabby—a nice person but not a good one. In short, Pentecost makes it clear that nothing is so fatal to Christianity as indifference. ” -W.S Coffin Jnr

We are regaled every waking moment with delightful opportunities to plunge in and get refreshed by doing just lil bits of kindness and good to just one person, but alas many of us choose to watch at the sidelines forgetting that life is a moving train and you definitely cannot be motionless on a moving train. With a series of severe back flares yesterday under the keen eyes and hands of JOIV, I still had to answer the call of my good friend who just returned again from the hospital for the second double bypass surgery in less than three months. And even as we sat chatting, I chose to make it memorable by reminding him that we are all alive for a purpose and in moments like these, when we awaken after a life threatening medical challenge, the onus lies on us to make better use of the days we now have. It does not have to be when you are incapable of speech and bereft of movement that we are compelled to make that choice, we can choose to plunge in now. I may be incapable of walking the miles or giving lengthy encouraging speeches however I have chosen not to be trampled underfoot by this disorder.

I choose to live, and not just live but live refreshingly through the lives of the very many fascinating individuals I come across. Like Teddy, with severe Down’s syndrome, who was joyously showing off his brand new wristwatch to as many as he came across. As I watched with dismay, the looks of annoyance flashing across the many faces he shared the moment with, when it was my turn – I delightfully exclaimed his was nice but mine was even nicer and just that response evoked a gentlemanly kiss on the back of my hand as he and his fellow mentally retarded peers were headed away. Now that made me beam indeed because “It seems to me that no matter what religion you subscribe to, acts of kindness are the stepping-stones to making the world a better place–because we become better people in it.”
― Jodi Picoult.

Let us take that plunge today, and I am all ears when it is time to share how refreshing an experience it was.

And remember………………we were made to live for His pleasure and not just exist.

 פרידהעדשנפגששובחבריםיקרים ….. 

Adios!

Letting go…..

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Back in the days as kids playing around and being fascinated with the beauty of nature and its many mysteries, I recall catching my first butterfly with its gaily coloured and delicate wings. Placing it in a ready matchbox, I dashed home to show my prize and heard one of the most profound statements and still today, a fundamental guideline for my life….“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.”
―Ann Landers.

One thing we really have no power over is what life throws at you, what we can do is choose how to react or respond to those situations and therein lies the distinguishing factor between the great and the ordinary. The other day, we gathered as a church to celebrate life without limits, without the boundaries of human limitations and frailties and the overwhelming knowledge that we are all uniquely created with gifts to share and purposes to be met. And even as the warm rays of the sun brightened the park, it was a joy to behold life and celebrate it, regardless of my neck brace, disc doctor and my able staff of authority. It was indeed an opportunity to choose yet again to redefine who I am and what I can do with the very lives I encounter.

Just like the mystery of nature, so also is the mystery of the human body or more precisely the human brain, and even as I still recall my last consult with my neurologist – I still acknowledge that there will always be certain aspects that will defy our grasp regardless of how much we want to reach out and comprehend. As I mull over our discussion, she was honest enough to point out the fact that Movement Disorders are still unexplainable, kudos to her because I really did lay into her because it does get infuriating when the so-called experts cannot even admit that life is a constant learning curve. You can never know everything about something so it is best to learn something about everything and don’t stop there, implement the knowledge you have obtained and move on and learn some more.

For many of us, we are constantly assuaged with the desire to keep holding on to that elusive fantasy and just when we think we have gotten it, it hits us in our guts that strength is really defined by the act of letting go. Someone said ‘ Maturity is being able to say no’ which to me is another form of letting go and whilst we rush around with our many aspirations and dreams, let us remember this – the real strength of character is not defined by what we can grab but what we can let go. Admittedly, it can be painful at times but I dare you to compare your situation before and after you truly let go. I have chosen to let go of so many things and some have shred my heart asunder whilst others have been a walk in the park, however I can say that I am better off for we were born with nothing and depart with nothing someday we will.

My dear friend EE finally achieved closure the other day when she ran into her ex-husband after so many years, and because she had painfully let go, she was able to walk to him head-up, eyes a-twinkle and say hi. Now as she regaled me with that chance encounter, I could hear the triumph in her voice because that was a won battle even with the scars that serve as reminders, letting go had given her that edge she thought was unreachable. Today, she is an example to many out there who think that letting go is an act of cowardice, and even as she prepares to renew her vows again – a distinct persona she truly has become. It is such a privilege to have encountered you. I could go on and on with tales of ordinary individuals who have made that choice to let go and inevitably the end is always the same – triumph, victory, unimagined self-development and add flair and finesse to that picture.

I have an appointment tomorrow with a specialist pain physiotherapist (and of course there is a lot of trepidation and apprehension), yet another doctor again but one with such a scary title and still I choose to let go of my fears and accept the fact that I will always emerge on top regardless of whatever comes my way. I have let go of my privacy and chosen to share my story with as many as would give it a read because in the end, we are remembered for what we gave and not so much as what we received. Change is said to be the only permanent thing in life and the question is why then are we so terrified of change? “We can’t be afraid of change. You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in, but if you never venture out of it, you will never know that there is such a thing as an ocean, a sea. Holding onto something that is good for you now, may be the very reason why you don’t have something better.”
― C. Joybell C.

Walking this journey, most times alone, has been such an exhilarating adventure because it has made me realise that there are people out there who believe they have everything when in retrospect they have got nothing. John Ruskin aptly puts it thus ‘A man wrapped up in himself really makes a small package’ and I dare to add that letting go is the surest way to be as expansive as you were made to be. Look deep into yourself and ask yourself this question, what am I keeping so hard that it is causing me pain? Why am I choosing to  endure this anguish just to present a facade which is a front hiding the real you? Where can I truly give off myself to allow change take its course and re-emerge like the proverbial phoenix from the ashes of its cremation? There is more blessing in giving than in receiving – those few words surmise one of the greatest principles in life and remember that one man gave his life that we may be who we were really meant to be. What an amazing example to emulate!

It is almost midday and I have to start preparing to go meet my spine popping Russian as described by my lil brother, I have to let go of the confines of my room to enjoy the warm weather and some pain as usual but I am glad for this day. And irrespective of how many let downs I may have (especially from those closest to me), I am thankful for the ups too from the elite chosen few and look forward in faith to being who I was made to be – a blessing to as many as I can reach even if it is just a friendly hello or a warm smile. I want to leave you with these words of C. Joybell

“A star falls from the sky and into your hands. Then it seeps through your veins and swims inside your blood and becomes every part of you. And then you have to put it back into the sky. And it’s the most painful thing you’ll ever have to do and that you’ve ever done. But what’s yours is yours. Whether it’s up in the sky or here in your hands. And one day, it’ll fall from the sky and hit you in the head real hard and that time, you won’t have to put it back in the sky again.”

Truth remains that when you let go, you let God and what an amazing return you are sure to get.

Also remember………………we were made to live for His pleasure and not just exist.

 פרידהעדשנפגששובחבריםיקרים ….. 

Adios!

In Another’s Moccasins(2)………

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Hollas amigos,

Phew! how quickly time flies. (“Time flies, but the memories collected along the way can never be replaced” – Ashley Tisdale). A week has gone by and this should have been posted before now but I’ve been kinda busy, dealing with the ups and downs of life and living with dystonia. There is absolutely nothing comparable to walking a journey with a loved one and you are more blessed when you are privileged to have more than one. The moccasins are pretty worn out now but there is this thing with breaking in new footwear that usually leaves one sentimentally attached to the old especially when they have walked through varying seasons of life.

It is a beautiful day indeed, the thrill of opening your eyes and beholding a new day can never be recaptured especially if you choose to appreciate the fine moments that God blesses us with each moment. Life is good, right? Choose to acquiesce and see how better your week turns out because we are in charge as delegated by the One who reigns, so choose to proclaim that life is good irrespective of what the circumstances may be saying because that is just what they are circumstances. I really wish that sometimes we could borrow a leaf from Professor Dumbledore and just pick out memories and place in that bowl so as to avoid gushing endlessly once we get started on a subject because life consists of inter-related memories.

One of my friends just had her Botox treatment session, botoxulin helps ameliorate the tremors so it is a phase of management procedures for people living with dystonia. Just wait for it………………her session consists of taking 30 injections, yes THIRTY. I have taken only four and I know how many macho men are still scared of needles, so imagine taking 30 at a go and regularly at that. Now do you agree that you have more than a reason to say thanks to God for health even if your moccasins are fraying or your cuffs are better folded than buttoned down. Take it from me, get out of that self-induced pity party and live life with eyes wide open. Breathe and exhilarate with each breath of fresh air, some cannot. Listen for the chirping of the birds and the insects, even the occasional rodent that is a nuisance with your trash and appreciate these little moments, many would die for just an opportunity to.

I have got this traction device that never ceases to amaze my brother whenever he sees me in it and I have to remind him that it is no toy, but that is the way of life, we kinda prefer those things that we certainly do not want. Walking in another’s moccasins is way different from admiring them and so I kindly ask that whilst you hustle and bustle in order to get those resources in, take a look around and spot that one person who would do better with an encouraging word. Just like Mma, the beautiful air hostess (I think she is still single and she was pretty well-mannered) who almost refused me boarding her tiny aircraft because I looked like a fragile version of robocop. Eventually, she turned out to be quite a wonderful companion all through the flight and she did promise to read up on dystonia and take time to be more accommodating. Mma, do well to drop me a line or two because if you are as true as you portrayed yourself then you would make a very good companion for a deserving fellow and I might know a few *winks*

Are you familiar with these words?

” We all face stormy times in our lives. Storms that can seem impossible to bear, however once the storm is over (cos they surely will), we wonder to ourselves how we got though then and managed to survive. One thing is for certain, those storms we go through will change our lives and occasionally, we will not be the same people who walked into them” – Anon E. Moss……italics added and mine.

It is however more despairing when we do the natural thing and look out with troubled souls to those who we feel will help prop us up only to get the inevitable result;  the arm of flesh will always fail and just as the tides and seasons are determined by God, so also is He waiting for us to look to Him for help during those inevitable storms. I did the unusual yesterday(after reading a very good book by John Bevere) and called up a couple of my old buddies who just happened to be very absent during the begin of this storm and I told them that I actually had resented them for their indifference but now I can look back at still be thankful that they were indifferent because it has made me more knowledgeable about adverse times and the privilege of being alone save for a few. Now I can truly understand and connect with people who are experiencing rough patches im their lives, because these storms can strengthen or break you, again it is yours to choose.

Without them  choosing to be indifferent, I would never have come across some very outstanding individuals in my sojourn with dystonia. These people have also made me realise that ‘truly there can and are prophets in Bethlehem’, all it takes is just for you to choose not to be overwhelmed by your circumstances and appreciate that you can still do the little things possible and open up your heart to experience the love in the hearts of the few that God brings along your way.  And whilst my moccasins may be wearing out, I am glad for the opportunity to walk in them and be sustained all through. For as fleeting as the days may be, the discomforts and the incessant pain a constant reminder of the frailty of my humanity, the constant sacrifices of loved ones and the joy of finding love in a hopeless place – no better truth can be said than this “I am ever thankful for this process because I am stronger and better and more knowledgeable, and the love I have discovered on this journey will never be exchanged for anything”.

Although it is now a year since the best teacher I have ever had passed on, I choose to live my life in a way that would do him proud because he bequeathed a legacy that will last as long as life and in his own words, I have learnt ‘don’t beat him up, he is a madman’. Adieu Hilary E. Nzenwa!

For those of you who are currently being  buffeted by the storms of life, take a breath and glance down and be thankful for those moccasins on your feet.

“We are not human beings on a spiritual journey. We are spiritual beings on a human journey.” – Stephen R. Covey
Remember that there is a purpose to everything that happens in life and we were created to live for His pleasure and not just to exist.

Adios!

פרידה עד שנפגש שוב חברים יקרים ….. 

In Another’s Moccasins……(1)

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hola queridos amigos,

Lovely aren’t they? (the moccasins, incase you tend to be slow in the mornings like me). My best friend, JOIV has a pair like these and on a good dry day, it is the most probable item to be adorned and sometimes I would be glad to wager a bet (Vas my chiropractor says bets are wagered by a fool and a brave man so naturally I incline towards being the brave party…lol!) that those moccasins could find their way home on their own in the event that JOIV left them somewhere. 

It is no news that most of the EU are battling with economic recession so Spain isn’t left out and prior to today, I swore that I would never board an Iberia Airways aircraft but my recent trip to Madrid aboard their National carrier has changed my opinion (not a very easy thing to do when it is someone else’s objective). What has brought this sudden vacillation of opinion? Definitely not the aircraft, they have not changed their fleet to the newer swanky aircrafts, but my experience at the hands of the unique set of individuals I have ever had the privilege of encountering. Just had our first young adults dystonia meeting and for a change, it was more relaxed and summarily cool – not in Madrid by the way, pre my trip and so it was with the right sense of apprehension that I embarked on this trip because living with dystonia kinda makes you a special needs traveller.

The North American Indians have a saying “To understand the man, you must first walk a mile in his moccasin.” and honestly whilst you may be drooling at the beautiful pair of moccasins depicted above, wipe the spittle and come back to reality because they belong to another. Those pair have been accustomed to another’s feet and they have seen their own share of wear and tear but just like JOIV, they are simply accustomed to another’s. Life as I always point out whenever the opportunity presents itself, is all about relationships and the beauty of relationship is that it is like a seesaw, you have to give so as to receive. Just as you experience the thrill of rocketing upwards, you cannot always be the one to catch the clouds – just across you is a friend or mate with his/her weight firmly planted to the ground to enable you get that thrill.

As I was being wheeled from the aircraft to the terminal, I had the unique opportunity of meeting Senor Victor D. Rodriguez and Senorita Mercedes who made me understand the difference between holla senora and holla senorita. And with a very cheeky grin on his face as he wheeled an 80.4kg bloke all through, Victor talked about himself and asked me what I thought about his ‘spanglish’ and it was less ‘span’ and more ‘glish’ even as he struggled with using the right terms and phrases and correcting himself mid-sentences. He shared the story of his friend who relocated to London and is desperately trying to get back (because the grass always looks greener as long as you stand on the other side of the fence) and as usual it got me thinking. What is it about us that makes us want to always be the one to be at the receiving end especially when there are benefits? How strong is that streak of selfishness that makes us choose to ignore the little kind gestures we can give out to the closest person who we can clearly see is having a bit of horrid time, at no cost?

For those of us, who are still clearly choosing to ignore the obvious, there is One in charge of all that happens on this earth and He again sure is in charge of what happens after our little sojourn here – you could ask Matt Damon ‘Hereafter’. And even as we rocket through life, experiencing the thrills of life, remember to look across and see Him choosing to plant His weight firmly on the ground just for you to get the thrill and instead of being all grumpy and upset when the tides change (cos they surely and always will), remember that there is more joy when you can and choose to do that teeny weeny bit just to make the other bloke experience some thrill too by walking in his moccasins just for a little while.

Senora Marissa, the senior flight attendant/chief air hostess took out just a little bit of her busy time to sidle in close to me and ask me with a twinkle in her eye what dystonia was and even whilst she was cutting my cuttlefish into bits, she responded to my profuse thanks with a cheeky ‘I am not doing anything with my hands right now’. Now these are the people who by their actions , not words changed my whole apprehension of flying with Iberia because there is always a choice to spend more of our energies engaging in heated debates on the pros and cons of a subject or just spend less energy doing the little to make that next person going through a difficult time just a teeny weeny bit more comfortable.

God says “I want you to share your food with the hungry and to provide shelter for homeless, oppressed people. When you see someone naked, clothe him! Don’t turn your back on your own flesh and blood!” Aha! I don’t turn away from my relatives when they are in need….hmmm! we are all of one source, doubt that? Well, the next time you are walking down that busy street, rushing off to that appointment, take a moment to look at the flesh of the next person and I dare you to point out the difference and make me eat my words and if you are as adventurous as I am, ask for a little prick of blood and tell me it isn’t as red as the one flowing in your veins.

Have I forgotten to mention the beautiful Indira, who is as gorgeous as a lady would ever be and ideally should keep to herself because of the predators out there looking around for a single woman to fill her ears with deceit and filth. Guess what, she relocated her seat and ensured that I lacked nothing and leaving off what she was doing – most likely sending word to her wonderful family of her itinerary, she made the choice to just talk with and listen to me. That meant a whole world of good, Indie. And what we fail to acknowledge is that whenever we sow, we must reap so why devote time and energy in sowing the wrong things because inadvertently our harvest is in multiples of what we have sown. Besides, it kicks against the natural instinct of self-preservation for any sane person (yeah more insane people are being discovered each day but we yet out-number them) to sow something detrimental to self.

It is a brand new week, and what better start can we have to do things just a little bit differently. Begin with the person next to you even as you are seated in church or anywhere, share a smile and ask him how he is doing and then as you part ways, tell him/her in all sincerity that you would want him to have a pleasant week and tell me you did not feel better after that. There is a spiritual aspect to our lives, when we give, we receive so be careful what you give.

“I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everthing, but still I can do something; I will not refuse to do something I can do.” – Helen Keller, and remember………………we were made to live for His pleasure and not just exist.

Adios!

פרידה עד שנפגש שוב חברים יקרים ….. 

Friend or foe………

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FriendshipIt is the wee hours of this beautiful Saturday morning and already the birds are first tweeting their excitement even though they have no inkling of what will come the next moment – now that is TRUST. I can literally watch/hear the dawning of this new day and what a blissful experience it never fails to be. Now is it that I am unable to sleep, nope it is simply due to the fact that sleep comes from GOD and what better way to put these waking moments to use despite the fact that I have already ingested 20mg of clonazepam as part of my daily regiment of drugs. Yeah, it is dystonia and it is real but that ain’t the subject matter.

My best friend Joiv is currently attending the wake keep of a departed friend and colleague, who in less than 6 months before her demise had to lay her husband to rest. Sad right? Now she is gone leaving behind a couple of kids who currently are running around greeting the few ‘uncles and aunts’ who have turned up to pay their last respects. Emphasis on the word ‘few’  because we can afford to be casual and indifferent about the pain of others as long as it ain’t close to home and my heart does go out to these little ones who have seemingly had their world shattered because right now, their care is dependent on folks who are not their biological parents and I can assure you that  “Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes… but no plans” – Peter Drucker.

Friendship is one of the most distorted words ever uttered by man because under the guise of friendship, many a mortal blow is dealt and amongst every twelve there must be a Judas. Taking a brief backwards or downward glance into the lives of some of the great historical names we were weaned on, their end was at the hands of those whom they called friends. For these little ones, I am confident and of the indisputable fact that children are a gift from God and ultimately He alone has worthwhile plans for them (although I also tend to draw the line at the modern day values where children are rapidly becoming a negotiating chip and the end result of two fools engaging in something honorable just for the fun of it).

I am blessed with awesome duty of stewardship of these bundles of blessing (well mine is a bundle as of date….) and it is amazing what responsibilities lies with this duty, for we will be judged not by the accolades of the ‘friends’ we amass in response to our philandering or philanthropy but by the achievements in our own home. Having just read a post of facebook by a lovely lady, I was forced to comment on the topic “for all mothers” because again in my opinion “to give alms is nothing unless you give thought” – J, Ruskin and so the status of motherhood should be further elaborated as not every lady who suffers the pangs of delivery is a mother. One of my most favorite and earliest learnt latin phrases is “cucullo non facit monachum” meaning “the hood does not make the monk”

Now it does seem I am digressing however bear with me, the heart is so filled that words are simply an inadequate form of expression however it will do for now. Taking an indepth look at the rising perils faced by these little ones, it is so disheartening that life in China seems like an option where the number of kids per family is determined by the state ( they have their own reason anyway, we know it). The astronomical rate of child abuse is traceable to those closest to the child, our friends, right? Many like Tia Sharp have had their lives bestially ended by ‘friends’, Ariel Castro was a friendly neighbor, the Hospitaller Order of St John of God was supposedly a place of haven and the list is endless.

The question that begs answering is who is your friend? For me, I opine that you choose wisely because there are friends who stick closer than brothers (take it from me) and in the long run, just like the string at the end of a kite being tugged by the hands of a child, your friends are those who enable you sower above whatever dreadful circumstances you may be in. They stay longer after everyone is gone and remain even when in moments of desolation and despair, you cast them away. They never leave and whilst we are keeping our enemies closer, realise that just one friend is worth a thousand foes.

I have found one even after 2 decades and just like the cacti, they may not be the most ornamental but they last and survive in some of the worst climates. Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are for birds of similar plumage……We were never meant to walk alone (I am no Liverpool FC fan :D…) but “When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.” – H. Nouwen

Be a friend today. Adios!

פרידה עד פעם מפגישה אותנו שוב

I believe I can fly…..

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What makes an eagle so majestic amongst its avian brothers? Do animals have souls? Can the loyalty of a dog to its loving master be ever put on trial? Can the stars ever be put out in response to the rising mayhem globally? Can the ant establish a school in order to avail us the wisdom of their ways despite their tiny size? As the Preacher put it, too much studying causes only weariness for to everything that is, there is a purpose. Why do good things happen to bad people? Why do the wicked seemingly go unpunished? Why do we judge others by their actions and judge ourselves by our motives?

I never cease to chuckle at the antics of my elderly neighbor’s Jack russel terrier (I simply love dogs, they are undeniably man’s best friend) whenever he brings him out for the evening walk. Snapping at every thing in motion, straining at his leash and then my most enjoyable moment is when my neighbor attaches his leash to his bike and lets him run. With every muscle straining, off he goes – almost single-handedly pulling the bicycle away (probably in his mind anyway)Jack Russell Terrier (Smooth). And that simple daily chore always sets me thinking with a huge grin plastered on my face as I turn into my driveway, that we are always limited by our own selves. Nothing is really as bad as it seems, for with every roll of the dice on a board game – fate decides what numbers come up but we do the counting. I recently watched a video blog of a courageous young lady who is also dystonic but has overcome her fears to begin a video blog and yet again I am in awe of the strength of the human spirit.

The world’s greatest #1 bestseller recounts the tale of our ancestors who came together and decided to build the world’s tallest building (sorry I’ve seen the Shire, London and the Burj Khalifa, Dubai and the Petronius Platform and this is no reference to any of them). The project commenced and stolidly they plodged on undeterred in their motive, without today’s modern day technology and but for the intervention of God, they were going to get there. The question is what could be so powerful a motivation that God had to intervene to restore the rightful order of things. It is simply two words numbering 9 characters…..I BELIEVE. Nothing fancy in the words themselves but the underlying truth and conviction makes it more than just words but a theme to live by.

We live in a world, constantly buffeted by the waves of life and yet for many of us something unexplainable keeps us going regardless of how high the waves seem or how close we were to drowning from the last encounter. It quickly brings to remembrance the paralympians from the most populous black nation in the world who not only achieved what their able bodied counterparts were unable to do but still have to face the stigma of a nation largely populated by clowns and cowards. And yet with the flames of self belief, they soldier on past the odds and the stigma and create legacies for generations to come ( if they can still learn anyway). Listening to the words of the popular song by R. Kelly

“See I was on the verge of breaking down. Sometimes silence can seem so loud. There are miracles in life I must achieve. But first I know it starts inside of me……. If I just believe it, there’s nothing to it…….”

Nothing can be put in a better way than this truth, and whilst we croon the words, let us also imbibe the lyrics. There are miracles in life that each of us must achieve and if only we can just dare to believe, we will realise that there is indeed nothing to it. So just as the eagle watches and waits for that gust of wind with outstretched wings, believing that it can soar to heights unimaginable – let us with each new day, prepare ourselves for those miracles that we must achieve by simply telling ourselves those two words “I BELIEVE” and astound not just ourselves but those who have irretrievably put you down in the past by saying you are a failure by flying. There is no better vessel, no stronger source, no greater reserve than the Spirit of God within us. In the words of Napoleon Bonaparte

“There are only two forces in the world, the sword and the spirit. In the long run the sword will always be conquered by the spirit”

Today, I charge you – if only you can believe, you can fly. Gotta run now, Jeanette awaits me downstairs with a team of champions in life who are flying despite cancer, RA and whatever fancy names are assigned. Guess what, it is a marvellous start to a new week. Just believe and you can fly.